MIND WASH ©

2012 Grammy Award Winners

2012-02-13T12:24:00.001-05:00

As I sat there and watched the awards show, I couldn't help but feel happy for the sound of good music. Big congrats to the winners. Keep those hits/albums coming. We need them desperately!

Courtesy of MSN - http://music.msn.com/grammy/nominees-winners/

Adele cuddles her half dozen trophies backstage at the 54th annual Grammy Awards on Sunday, Feb. 12, 2012 in Los Angeles. She won awards for best pop solo performance for "Someone Like You"; song of the year, record of the year and best short form music video for "Rolling in the Deep"; and album of the year and best pop vocal album for "21."

BEST NEW ARTIST - BON IVER

BEST DUO OR GROUP PERFORMANCE - TONY BENNETT & AMY WINEHOUSE 'BODY & SOUL'

BEST ROCK PERFORMANCE - FOO FIGHTERS 'WALK'

BEST ROCK ALBUM - FOO FIGHTERS 'WASTING LIGHT'

BEST HARD ROCK/METAL PERFORMANCE - DREAM THEATER 'ON THE BACKS OF ANGELS'

BEST ALTERNATIVE MUSIC ALBUM - DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE 'CODES AND KEYS'

BEST R&B PERFORMANCE - CORRINE BAILEY RAE 'IS THIS LOVE'

BEST TRADITIONAL R&B PERFORMANCE - CEE LO GREEN & MELANIE FIONA 'FOOL FOR YOU'

BEST R&B ALBUM - CHRIS BROWN 'F.A.M.E.'

BEST RAP PERFORMANCE - JAY Z & KANYE WEST ' OTIS'

BEST R&B/SUNG COLLABORATION - KANYE WEST, RIHANNA, KID CUDI & FERGIE 'ALL OF THE LIGHTS'

BEST RAP ALBUM - KANYE WEST 'MY BEAUTIFUL DARK TWISTED FANTASY'

BEST COUNTRY SOLO PERFORMANCE - TAYLOR SWIFT 'MEAN'

BEST COUNTRY DUO/SOLO PERFORMANCE - THE CIVIL WARS 'BARTON HOLLOW'

BEST COUNTRY ALBUM - LADY ANTEBELLUM 'OWN THE NIGHT'

BEST COUNTRY SONG - TAYLOR SWIFT 'MEAN'

BEST AMERICAN ALBUM - LEVON HELM 'RAMBLE AT THE RYMAN'

BEST FOLK ALBUM - THE CIVIL WARS 'BARTON HOLLOW'

Guest Post: The Five Finger Festival of Fun

2012-02-07T12:00:00.000-05:00

by Raymond Chepkwony

A statistic done by a very idle and rather creepy professor showed that 95% of all men have “flown solo”. The same study went on to indicate that 43% of all men are “frequent solo flyers” and are known to take to the “palm springs” once a month. The study further went on to say that 25% of all men surveyed indulged in the 4Fs (Five Finger Festival of Fun) more than once a week. Of more concern however is that 8.3% of men in the sample study engaged in “right hand maneuvers” daily. In a survey I recently carried out, I also established that sex is the leading cause of pregnancies and STATISTICS!
Guys, we’ve all been lonely in the house, watching porn and the little lady you expected to join you bounced. The weather being cold, one can sometimes be tempted to “give a handshake to the El-Presidente”! Some men are known to take things as far as inserting strange objects on their back ends to heighten the “one man show” experience! Hey… as long as you are alone… then do you what you must!
Why then, I ask, is masturbation-I finally said it- regarded as a shameful act? Lets face it…women are known to let down guys every so often and sometimes, one is forced to take matters into his own hands…LITERALLY! Not only is it known to have immense therapeutic values, but it is a well known fact that this art of self indulgence can sometimes be better than the real thing! Look at the number of toys available for men in the market. Multitudes of them are now retailing in many of our stores. From life sized Spanish dolls-which are made in china-to tiny objects of whose use I have yet to establish. Every guy goes through a “dry spell”. We all have that two weeks when all your women were either “rolling” or were out of town, or were with their husbands! To counter the possibilities of insanity, sometimes, a man does what he needs to do. Sometimes, the call of nature overwhelms you and you make a connection with the Vaseline!
As I have taken it upon myself to offer solutions to all of men’s problems, I put together a group of women to advise men on how it should be done. The full and detailed results can be found on the site www.stupidwankmachine.co.ke and some of the highlights of this report to be published in a leading journal I will detail here.

The Visual Wank Bank

Have you ever been alone and your mind strayed to a hot and stunning woman you’d had the pleasure of seeing but not greeting? That my friend, is your wank bank calling you to duty. Guys, you should take it upon yourself to always store these images for a “rainy” day. Ever wondered how it’d be to shag your neighbor’s house help? Well… look at her as she’s all wet doing laundry and store her in your most sacred place. When your dry spell hits, then my friend, kindly make a withdrawal from your visual wank bank and in a matter of minutes, you are sorted!

The No Chance In Hell Experience

Every time she moves and sways, you know you want her. Her beauty, elegance and style all have your jaw dropping to the ground. Now, instead of making a fool of yourself by approaching this creature of greatness, with whom you stand no chance with, treasure those moments you see her for they may just soon…very soon…come in-pardon the pun-HANDy. And as the saying goes, “a bird in hand, is worth two in the bush”. So, you’ve got all you need to have lasting memories of your jaw dropping crush!

The Jug-asaurus Rex Experience

Now…it is said that some creatures called dinosaurs once roamed the face of our planet. Well…those creatures need not be long gone my friends. Have you ever seen a woman whose breasts you felt were talking to you? Ever seen a pair of twins that you just wanted to reach out and grab? Well, if you have, then you have come across a creature I call The Jug-asuarus Rex!

When in your own comfort, the pillow often gives good…GREAT company. So take the leap and talk to those bosoms. Tell them all you wanted to say and feel free to get naughty and freaky with them!

Impossible is Nothing

Its not just an add my friends. Impossible really is nothing. Guys, when in your own comforts, just put the impossible together. J-lo’s booty, Rihhana’s face, Beyonce’s body… Mariah’s twins. Yeah…who said life is harsh. Life is just that sweet people. Make it special and throw in Ciara’s moves and you’ll know what I mean.

The Cassava Effect

It is a well known fact that all cassavas have the same skin. It is also a commonly known fact that not all cassavas taste the same. Guys, we all know that girlfriends and wives don’t like “mixing things up”. When alone and in need of self gratitude, don’t pat yourself on the back. NOPE… go ahead and do what you need to do. Mix things up. Shake it up. Make it memorable and pleasant. Take senior in your hands and tell him “today, its just me and you…you are in for the ride of your life!" Mix up the art. Don’t just do it. Do it good. Don’t just get it over and done with. As it is, the girlfriend is already getting it over and done with after which she says “nifunike ukimaliza”! surely…when you are treating yourself..make it count!

Ladies, we know that you know when a man has visited “palm springs”. Do not take offense. He is just supplementing his need with a little self-drive. It isn't that you're not enough for him…its just that every so often, a man needs his peace and his space. Do not think of life as black or white…think of his “handling of himself” as that grey area. As I always wisely say, “if sex is a tool of communication, then masturbation is just a way of talking to oneself”! My good and kind ladies, would you rather your man is in constant “communication” with other women or would you rather every so often, he has a conversation involving his right hand and overheard by Miss Vaseline?! Well…my point is proven!

raymondchepkwony.wordpress.com

Guest Post: Why Men Love Lesbians

2012-02-02T01:00:00.000-05:00

by Oyunga Pala

The unspoken rule in polite company is ‘Keep your fantasies to yourself’. But there are two fantasies that Kenyan men have no problem admitting to: The prepubescent fascination with the exploited female house help a.k.a the mboch and lesbians.

So when some of my friends reported occasional encounters involving straight girls gone wild in the club after too much tequila exchanging saliva as willing participants of a dare challenge, I did not bother to feign shock. The first guy whispered it to me over a lunch meeting. He claimed to have been approached by two women on separate incidents. They wanted him to join in as the third wheel to fulfill a bisexual fantasy. I thought, “Lucky devil!” But he pretended to sound reluctant and added something about how amoral the girls were these days. The other fellow recounted a recent incident that involved two young women heavily petting in a bar. They tried to persuade his girlfriend to join them for the night. His girlfriend reeled back in horror and he thought she overreacted.

I may not have the resources to conduct a detailed research on why guys are incredibly fascinated by lesbians, but I can tell you the obvious for free. Men adore women; particularly, women who act like they are down for anything. Access to two eager women at the same time is a common boyhood fantasy that resides in the ‘pure bliss’ realm. In fact, it is the only fantasy that we pronounce in French, ménage à trios. Sounds like something exotic served with red wine.

Ever since the porn industry realized that male viewers do not think three is a crowd, when the helping hand is a female one, lesbian scenes have become an adult entertainment staple. In real life, such an eventuality can never be broached given our established moral codes. Nonetheless, in private, several men may have wished that the women in their lives were a little more open to experimentation.

Conventionally, homosexuality is tolerated among women but not men. Most guys believe that all women are potentially bisexual. There is evidence tabled to confirm this: Women check each other out. They can help a friend fit on a bra without raising eyebrows. Only girls can have an ‘accidental’ kiss and blame it on alcohol. Only girls can gyrate suggestively with each other for the sole reason of leaving voyeuristic men hot and bothered. Stories are told of naughty girls in boarding school resorting to very creative means to wade off cold weather and boredom. A phase. Even women in a cat fight will hold promise, after they start tearing at each other’s clothes.

Liberal single women who identify as heterosexual openly talk about lesbian fantasies like it is one of those experiences to chalk up before 30 so as not be considered prudish. Celebrity figures like Angelina Jolie and Britney Spears have also played a fair part in making bisexuality appear trendy.

Of course, what is conveniently forgotten is that a woman showing bisexual tendencies is not necessarily a lesbian. More like a straight girl merely trying to increase her chances of attracting a date on a Friday night. Lesbians are lesbians because they only respond sexually to women. Unlike the bisexual posturing by some women, they do not need a man to finish them off. The lipstick lesbian stereotypes peddled by the porn industry and popular TV sitcoms are actually straight women putting on a show (bad acting) for the straight male viewers. (Another reason why we must not take everything we see on TV literally).

Not all lesbians are strikingly beautiful. Neither are the women, ruled by insatiable appetites, never passing up a chance to get down. Somehow, it seems impossible to wrap our minds around the thought that a girl could live through life without succumbing to penile envy. Perhaps she had an abusive childhood or was turned off men by rape. The mainstream male view is that lesbians are only fixated on the same sex relationships because they have never had an encounter with Mandingo and do not know what they are missing. The downside of this is that it has become a justification for corrective rape and an excuse for sexual violence. True lesbians suffer the same bigoted stereotypes that afflict gay men especially when they are deemed ugly and overweight. That is why they are dismissed as dykes and end up in the ‘gross!’ trash can of homophobia.

Though there is documented evidence that sexual identity is a biological function, appropriate coupling is controlled by the prevalent culture. In a phallic dominated reality, women who identify as lesbians threaten traditional society’s family values. They are seen as a challenge to alpha-male dominance because they raid from the same pool. So they are framed as promiscuous villains who prey on innocent women even when it is mostly the lesbians fending off bi-curious women ( I am not a lesbian but my housemate is).

Despite these negative labels, lesbianism continues to hold a strong appeal among men because straight women understand the power of playing gay in public to draw attention. Bisexuality may be an abomination for men but amongst women it is entertainment. The prejudice is sustained by ignorance. The hypocritical reaction is classic. The thought of two men together is unnatural and sick. However, two women bonded by erotic passion is a yummy sandwich beckoning. This is why no man ever accuses his wife of sleeping around with other women. The only cause for contention in this case would be that he was not invited.

Some of My Favorite Eats

2012-01-31T14:00:00.000-05:00

Food is any substance consumed to provide nutritional support for the body. It is usually of plant or animal origin, and contains essential nutrients, such as carbohydrates, fats, proteins, vitamins, or minerals. The substance is ingested by an organism and assimilated by the organism's cells in an effort to produce energy, maintain life, and/or stimulate growth. Good Food is Good for the Soul.

Andouille Sausage, Shrimp & Grits w/ Gouda Cheese (Homemade)

Shrimp & Gritz @ Social

Ben's Chili & Cheese Fries

Ceviche & Champagne (Homemade)

Chapati (Homemade)

Chicken Marsala @ Dupont Italian Kitchen

Cornish Hens stuffed w/ Shrimp and Crabmeat (Homemade)

Grilled Veggies (Homemade)

Lamb Shank @ Veranda's

Tomato Bisque Soup (Homemade)

Cherimoya with pineapple cubes

Fried Green Tomatoes @ Highlands

Brioche @ Highlands

Mofongo Pot Stew (Homemade)

Chilli Pot w/ Turkey Meat, Fresh Zucchini & Carrots (Homemade)

Savoy Chicken w/ Black Garlic Beans, Brown Rice & Broccoli (Homemade)

Blackened Tilapia w/ Roasted Potatoes & Spinach (Homemade)

Gnocchi di Patate w/ Turkey Ham, Sundried Tomatoes & Veggies (Homemade)

Teriyaki Honey Roasted Chicken w/ Schezwan Sesame String Beans & Mac n Cheese (Homemade)

Honey Mustard & Wasabi Chicken w/ Broccoli & Mashed Potatoes (Homemade)

Steve Jobs - 7 Principles for Success

2011-10-09T15:31:00.001-04:00

7 PRINCIPLES FOR SUCCESS-

1. Do what you love - passion is the secret of success.

2. Put a dent in the universe - have a big, bold, concise vision.

3. Say no to a 1000 things - focus, reduce the clutter, make it simple.

4. Kick start your brain by doing something new.

5. Sell dreams not products

6. Create insanely creative experiences.

7. Master the message.

"Good artists copy. Great artists steal." - Steve Jobs

A RANT WORTH LISTENING TO...

2011-10-07T11:24:00.001-04:00

Steve Jobs' 2005 Stanford Commencement Address

2011-10-06T12:50:00.001-04:00

Writer's Clog with Dr. Nicole Cutts

2011-10-05T18:30:00.000-04:00

Part 2 of The Vision Quest Chronicles with Dr. Nicole Cutts (filmed on Sept. 24) How to overcome writer's block and writer's clog.

THE TRUTH THAT LIES TELL

2011-10-05T13:00:00.000-04:00

by Elsie Wandera

Ladies, ladies, ladies.

who better than the ladies?

There is a big lie that parades, masquerading itself as truth....

The man...the victim,

Misguided by the stares we give,

With that sparkle in your eye when we declare our love,

....our undying love!

"There is no one else who makes me feel the way you do!" You say to him!

And he melts at the sound and thumps his chest saying, "Who's your daddy?"

The truth is....

Right now, I'm checking someone else out and,

I like that someone else,

I steal glances and begin to fantasize....its wild

I could swear that all this makes me hot and sweaty.

On this day,

The big day with the guy that I've been zoning off with is here.

So he says hello and you respond with a twinkle in your smile.

"Let's do drinks and catch up...Tonight even? Are you available? You know, just to catch up and what not...it's been a while."

For me, what all that means is...it's been a while since you know what; plastered with kisses; baked in lust; frying in my own liquid; the need to get it on!

"That sounds good...so I'll see you at 6.30pm...say Blancos?" I say

Cool bananas!

and...so we meet.

I pour out my heart in a bid to get some assistance understanding "my man"

I make it known that the partner just ain't rocking my world no more.

"I need to find a spark, a new fire in our relationship, I need to connect on another level; Love is overrated; I'm so empty; This dude does not treat me right" I go on and on and on and all he is doing is wishing me away.

He wishes me naked; eyes locked on my bossom and can only imagine what he would be doing with that pair.

He wants to do me...I can see it in his eyes.

So I lean forward and tease with the twins!

So I think..."no, this ain't right"

Truth...I want him more

so our evening....bla bla bla

you know the drill - bills etc

He kisses me as we say our goodbyes

and shortly, it’s the back seat in the car...

...car all steamy and what not!

The shit is going down in that car!

I come out and make sure I am all straightened up

And I walk the runway like Tyra Banks

Feeling all good and what not!

Shit...some good shit right there!

...I make my way home with this impossible smirk on my face!

Only me and the devil know what's good tonight!

Then "my man" asks, "how was dinner with the girls?"

I go....with the smirk on my face...."FANTASTIC!...Did I tell you how much I love you?" and bla bla bla!

This is the truth; this is the lady in that skin that trots around with boldness telling her man, "I love you...!"

Truth....sigh!!!

myheartscripted.blogspot.com

6 WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR SEXUAL DELIVERY

2011-10-03T08:41:00.000-04:00

How willing are you to change your sexual delivery if your partner isn’t happy? Or add to your delivery to double your partner’s pleasure? What if it’s something far removed from your normal routine? How open are you to step outside your comfort zone? If you are serious about your partner and improving your sexual delivery then your answers should be positive and definite.

Improving your sexual delivery is a process that involves making your sexual experiences better by adding to and/or changing how you bring pleasure to your partner.
I recently chatted up a group of men and women to get a general idea on the perception of improving sexual delivery and to my pleasant surprise most people believe that their delivery needs no improvement. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but when it comes to sex, there's always room for improvement. Outlined are six steps on how to improve your sexual delivery and ultimately unlock the pleasure chest to a healthier and more liberating sexual experience.

Effective Communication

Being able to express what turns you on and off is an integral part of improving your sexual delivery. It starts with an open and honest dialogue between partners; a dialogue about wants, needs, desires, fantasies and the willingness to learn and explore each of these elements.

Asking your partner how he or she feels about your delivery goes a long way. Based upon the answers, you will know what he or she is into and what they can do without. The more you know about your partner’s sexual needs and wants, the better it is to perform to your fullest potential. Asking questions and being honest with the answers is the first step to opening that pleasure chest. How else will you know unless you ask?

It’s a proven fact that some of the best sexual experiences are usually with someone you have an intimate connection with otherwise it’s just mechanics. The worst thing is to have a lackluster sexual experience and be afraid to tell your partner what you want him or her to do different so that you can enjoy the next experience. More often than not, there won’t be a next time because you expected him or her to know better, which is close to impossible unless you are honest about what you want and need before, during and after sex.

Case in point:

I have a friend who told me about a guy she dated for a while and after the third or fourth time having sex she had to end things with him because he was an inconsiderate lover. During the act, he kept asking if she had climaxed and when he didn’t get the answer he wanted, he stopped before she got the chance to have an orgasm.

Had they communicated before sex, he would’ve found out that she doesn’t climax quickly. And after their first time together, she should’ve taken that opportunity to communicate her thoughts and explain to him that it takes her longer than most women to climax and asking repeatedly if she has reached her climax puts added pressure on the experience, which in turn interrupts her process. If she would’ve communicated, he would’ve had the chance to improve his sexual delivery instead of being left wondering why she doesn’t want to be bothered anymore. Communication is Key.

An Open Mind

Having an open mind facilitates the improvement process so that it can move fluidly minus the restraints, fears, insecurities and road blocks that we let interfere and clog up our minds. We all have them, but I think it has become easier to let the negative energy take over instead of working towards a positive experience. I’ve noticed, through research, that when women don’t climax we look to the man as if the fault is his for not doing or knowing what we want. Perhaps the fault lies within us; maybe we aren’t open to the process or mentally present in the moment. For whatever reason, more often than not, women fake orgasms, which is a great disservice to both our partner and to ourselves. Have an open mind to feed your body what it wants and needs so you can be fulfilled during sex.

Sexual Compatibility

Sexual compatibility engenders a desire to please each other. It is the glue that binds. This is the part where forgetting your own pleasures and focusing solely on pleasing your partner plays a vital role. It’s also helpful to pay attention to how your partner reacts (body language, facial expressions, sounds) during sex. Use this information to get the feedback needed to proceed with caution or full steam. Pleasing him or her must be your ultimate goal. Once you’ve mastered their likes and dislikes, delivering pleasure will be a sure thing every time.

Now that you know what your partner wants and needs during sex, how open and comfortable are you with delivering what you've learned? When communication between partners is established it becomes easier to discover whether or not sexual compatibility truly exists.

The Brain

Perhaps it’s time to change the way we think about sex and start using our brain, the most erotic organ of the body, to control and manipulate ourselves to act as we feel. We set the right mental moods by improving our thoughts and perceptions before, during and after sex.

Foreplay + Seduction

Enjoying the journey on the way to the destination is the cornerstone of foreplay. Foreplay seduces the mind and body by arousing feelings of pleasure and anticipation. It’s a necessity. Some men/women focus on just doing the bare minimum failing to realize that it will only give your partner minimal pleasure.

One of my favorite quotes by Waiter Rant sums it up…

But seduction isn’t making someone do what they don’t want to do. Seduction is enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already.

We go above and beyond when it comes to courting a client for business, getting a new account, or finding a job. We do extensive research: find out their likes and dislikes, standards and requirements, expectations, goals and what we can do to meet their needs. That same effort and intensity should be applied to improving your sexual delivery.

Practice Makes Perfect

Practice the art of perfecting the improvement of your sexual delivery by implementing these steps. As a matter of fact, Do It Like It’s Your Last Time, Every Time!

KENYAN MARRIES OFF UNDERAGE DAUGHTER TO AFFORD NEW WIFE

2011-09-29T08:46:00.001-04:00

Once again...my twitterfeed provided this unbelievable story via Kenyan Diaspora and I had to share....

Follow on twitter @kenyandiaspora

Follow me on twitter @EllenThaGreat

Government authorities have rescued a 13-year-old Kenyan girl whose father married her off so he could raise funds for his own second wife, the Star newspaper reported on Thursday.

In Kenya, parents receive a bride price when their daughter gets married. Traditionally, this is regarded as a way of compensating parents for the money they have invested in raising their child.

But poor families often marry off young girls – who are otherwise regarded as an economic burden – as a way of generating wealth.

The girl’s parents turned up at her boarding school in drought-stricken Turkana, demanding to take her away, according to the report. “The father claimed that he had used the bride price to marry another wife and the girl must accept to stop learning and become a wife because he could not return the bride price,” Wilson Korombori, a local education officer, told the newspaper. The payment is usually in the form of livestock, which is highly valued by pastoralist communities in Kenya’s arid northern lands.
Kenyan girls as young as 10 are often married to men five times their age, rights activist Stella Kanuri told the paper. In Kenya, the legal age of marriage is 18.
Source- http://www.trust.org/trustlaw/news/kenyan-marries-off-under-age-daughter-to-afford-new-wife-paper

www.diasporamessenger.com

ART PIECE OF THE WEEK

2011-09-28T19:39:00.000-04:00

My Work is Done by Alix Beaujour

This is one of my favorite prints because it reminds me so much of my grandmother. I love the colors and the emotion on her face. The chipped paint and the cracks in her space. She looks tired and worn, beaten yet strong. It makes me smile.

WHAT EVERY WOMAN DESERVES...

2011-09-27T08:07:00.000-04:00

"Every woman deserves a man who calls her babe, honey; kisses her like he means it; holds her tight like he never wants to let go; doesn't cheat; wipes her tears when she cries; doesn’t make her jealous of other women, instead makes other women jealous of her; is not scared to let his friends know how he really feels about her, and lets her know how much he really loves her."

I read these wonderful words on a friends' facebook status and decided to repost on my page. Twenty two likes and thirty seven comments later....

Thursday at 9:52pm · Imali Trudy M. Luv it :)

Thursday at 9:50pm · Thomas Barrett I salute this.

Thursday at 9:51pm · Ellen J. Wanjiru Does such a man exist??

Thursday at 9:52pm · Imali Trudy M. LOL... Mmmmmh...will get back to u in a decade :)

Thursday at 9:53pm · Ellen J. Wanjiru A decade...lol. That's tragic.

Thursday at 9:54pm · Imali Trudy M. LMAO I know :)

Thursday at 9:55pm · Ellen J. Wanjiru Thomas...are you the type of man a woman deserves?

Thursday at 9:57pm · Thomas Barrett Only if you make him outta clay and put a battery pack on his back. Lol! That sounds like a dream.

Thursday at 9:57pm · Ellen J. Wanjiru Hahahahahaha @ Thomas! That's freakin hilarious.

Thursday at 9:58pm · Mugure Wa Cesar May I say this,They do exist Ellen! Takes alot of precaution and patience and not just jumping to the arms of any man who shows/says has the hots for you :)

Thursday at 10:00pm · Ellen J. Wanjiru Operative word being ALOT!

Thursday at 10:01pm · Donna Colaço AMEN sista, amen!

Thursday at 10:03pm · Mbuchi Thiani i think theres about 27 men like this ...... as for the rest of the 3 billion .... ahhhhhhhhhh lol

Thursday at 10:08pm - Tamika Haslam I can not find one LOL

Thursday at 10:10pm · Mugure Wa Cesar True true.Truth be told,the good ones are not that amicable in the beginning coz they have the same doubts,could there be as such an equally good woman? But once they gain your trust, your status is soooo plausible and even better!

Thursday at 10:12pm · Ellen J. Wanjiru lol @ 27 men

Thursday at 10:13pm · Ellen J. Wanjiru Mika - what's a girl gotta do to find one of those? lol

Thursday at 10:14pm · Donna Colaço OK, so i met someone like this...in Brazil! but there were other issues. perhaps there are indeed more men like this in the world, but we as women overlook this because they don't earn enough or have the right job, etc

Thursday at 10:16pm · Ellen J. Wanjiru Good point, Donna.

Thursday at 10:17pm · Mbuchi Thiani well yeah 27 but they are a dying breed man ...... coz as soon as they hook up with the average woman, they go freakin nuts ....... Have you any idea how hard it is to FULLY satisfy a woman?????? #missionimpossible

Thursday at 10:18pm · Mbuchi Thiani oh yeah and the 27 are still single hahahahahahahaha

Thursday at 10:18pm · Lisa Waiguchu If we could be so lucky to find one man that does all of that...but then we would be accused of asking for or expecting too much.

Thursday at 10:18pm · Tamika Haslam I don't know El cause if I did I would have one! LOL

Thursday at 10:18pm · Ellen J. Wanjiru Mbuchi, if men did what the aforementioned states...we would be FULLY satisfied!!!

Thursday at 10:19pm · Mugure Wa Cesar ‎@Donna,it's not overlooking. Finances are important;it's a big issue among couples.I would say don't settle for less,avoid future problems!

Thursday at 10:28pm · Ellen J. Wanjiru I reckon if we know our worth we won't settle for anything less than what we're putting out.

Thursday at 10:29pm · Courtney Cowan Let the church say AMEN!

Thursday at 10:30pm · Ellen J. Wanjiru lol Courtneyyy

Thursday at 10:31pm · Tamika Haslam knowing your worth takes time and experience sometimes....know it in my 30's!!!

Thursday at 10:34pm · Ellen J. Wanjiru Very true, Mika. I know it!

Thursday at 10:35pm · Rich Thompson If I wrote "Every man deserves_________" This list would be incredibly short, sensible, and pithy....4 qualifications tops!

Thursday at 11:31pm · Shantel Davenport Agreed.........

Friday at 12:02am · John Muraya am one of 27

Friday at 3:35am ·Ellen J. Wanjiru Really, Rich? Just 4? What are they....

Friday at 11:54am ·Rich Thompson Keep in mind that loyalty is implied...but 1. Culinary skills 2. Sensuality 3. Ability to reinforce that we are appreciated (which falls under communication). 4. Ambition/Peace with oneself which = "Natural", Drama free ...quintessential womanhood

Friday at 3:01pm · Zellah Njoki Mathenge Yikes i cant think of one!!!!let me know when you do find one SO WE CAN CLONE HIS ASS LOL.

Saturday at 12:45am · Blackwater Al hmmmmmmmm!

GUEST POST: Love & Marriage: Are the Men From Your Past Keeping You Single?

2011-09-26T13:56:00.002-04:00

I stumbled across this post on my twitterfeed thx to Bossip and it raises an interesting topic:

In addition to the men from our past, new men we meet who don't meet our standards and requirements but yet we settle because we're bored, don't want to be lonely or we're impatient.

Love & Marriage: Are the Men From Your Past Keeping You Single?

by IndigoBlack

When I was sitting in an awesome church a couple of weeks ago, among the many thought-provoking statements made by the pastor, one profound statement stuck in my head. He was doing the kind of preaching that makes you go “Hmm!” “Yeeeeeeeeeesssssssss,” or as my friend likes to say, makes you go “SAY THAT!” He said that it’s possible that God hasn’t brought a new individual into your life (aka, a boo), the one you might be looking for, because you’re too busy messing with folks you know you shouldn’t be. Deep, huh?

That statement has been on my mind since then, and I guess it moved me most during that time because I knew in my heart I was playing back and forth games with a guy that I should have left alone a loooooong time ago. Like years ago to be specific. But when you’re bored and don’t feel like being patient for the next man as I sometimes am, you start messing with that guy from the past. The one that still texts your phone just to say “hey” so that he can play games and try and make sure he’s still on your mind. Also known as checking on your for reasons that have nothing to do with true friendship, but just to be nosey and spit some game. For a hot second there I think I believed that we could talk again, that I could overlook all his past faults and bulls**t and in time we could work things out. Truth was, within weeks he was back on that bullsh**t and I knew it was going to happen–I just did the *Kanye shrug* and walked into fire. After all these years he was still behaving recklessly, and as always, he was trying to move WAY too fast for my liking instead of letting things flow naturally. NOTHING had changed for real.

There are many women out there who find their true loves in their past loves. People whose relationships fell apart but knew they were the best each other had. You know what happens–the one individual in the relationship who used to be an ass has an epiphany, and the other is able to accept them back into their lives because they know that there was something about that person they couldn’t get over. That’s a beautiful thing when people meant for each other stop playing games and get it right. The truth TRUTH in my case was that I wasn’t in love with this guy I was seeing, and after all these years I really didn’t even like him much anymore–I was just bored. B-O-R-E-D. And before I knew it, he was working my nerves. While the sermon in church moved me to the nines, I already knew in the back of my head that I needed to cut it out. But at the same time, there was something about someone telling you (I really felt like he was speaking just to me) that you might be hurting your chances at finding someone new and great by messing with the same ‘ol fools that shook something in my big head. Waiting on a brotha from the past to get some act right was literally a lonely waste of time.

That individual and I haven’t spoken in weeks, and in that time, I’ve met different guys in different places that have impressed me and others that were underwhelming. I’m not saying ANY of them are Mr. Right or even that they’re Mr. Oh So Wrong, but it’s nice to see that I’ve allowed new doors to open by closing old ones. Ya feel me?

So to sum up and help you out in your dating game, here are a few signs you’re more bored than infatuated with a fella from your past and that you need to drop him…again:

•As stated, he still does the same things that didn’t just work your nerves but caused problems back in the day.

•Your conversations lose steam quick after a couple of phone calls.

•Most of his texts seem like they’re done to check up on you rather than talk to you (“Whatchu doin?” “Where u at?”)

•You guys are STILL talking about old stuff instead of moving forward. What’s the point of going back to someone in your past to argue about the same crap?

•You guys only talk at night…like late night…I know people have needs, but don’t be someone’s booty call girl! (*smile* but I’m serious)

•*Bonus* He’s a Drake lover: I realize I waited too long…but please don’t move on, you don’t need no one else: “No one else.” Ugh.

Visit original post @ http://madamenoire.com/72703/are-the-men-from-your-past-keeping-you-single/

FORBIDDEN FRUIT and OTHER ILLEGAL EATS

2011-02-27T16:04:00.001-05:00

Infographic by Culinary Schools.org

75 WAYS TO SHOW LOVE IN RELATIONSHIPS

2011-02-25T16:38:00.015-05:00

SELF IMPROVEMENT SAGA

by Nea

http://blog.self-improvement-saga.com/

1. A kiss on the forehead

2. Uninterrupted quality time

3. A note under the pillow

4. Tell him when he looks masculine, sexy, or hot

5. Turn a regular day into an All-About-You day just for your mate

6. Breakfast served in bed

7. A romantic picnic indoors

8. An unexpected dinner cruise

9. Propose marriage on one knee

10. Don’t complain when he leaves the toilet seat up

11. A rose on the pillow

12. Tell her she’s beautiful

13. Pour on the chivalry (open doors, pull her chair out)

14. A bubble bath with rose petals and her favorite scented candles

15. Verbalize what your relationship means to you

16. Surprise her with her favorite flowers and candy

17. An “I love you because…” list

18. PDA (public displays of affection)

19. Heart shaped pancakes or cookies

20. A walk in the park together

21. Hold your beloved a little tighter and longer than usual

22. Do some of his/her chores

23. A handwritten card sprayed with your scent

24. Spoil each other

25. Renew your marriage vows

26. Be first to say “I’m sorry” after an argument

27. Personalize (i.e. engrave) gifts

28. Place an “I love you” flyer under the car’s windshield wiper

29. Send a surprise gift to his/her workplace

30. Support each other’s dreams

31. Make love slowly, passionately

32. Run his bath water

33. Give your spouse space when needed

34. Buy her feminine hygiene products (before she asks)

35. Bring him a cold beer while he watches football

36. Put a love note in her purse

37. Hold hands

38. Take showers together and wash each other’s back (or whole body)

39. Look deeply into your lover’s eyes

40. Always kiss goodbye and goodnight

41. Boast about your mate and your relationship to mutual friends

42. Arrange for a babysitter so you can have an unexpected date night

43. Say how much you love each other even if you think it’s known

44. Use cute pet names for each other

45. Rub your noses together

46. Remember to say thank you (often)

47. Excuse each other’s mistakes

48. Meditate together

49. Sleep in his t-shirt

50. Wash her hair

51. Step outside of traditional gender roles to help each other (Cook dinner for her; take the trash out for him)

52. Verbally reassure your lover

53. Take photographs as a couple

54. Give up the last piece of food on your plate

55. Write a short fairy tale using you and your mate as the characters (Once upon a time…”)

56. Listen more intently

57. Flirt with each other

58. Sing your significant other a love song

59. Get up early to help him/her get ready for work

60. Say “I adore you”

61. Watch a chic flick with her

62. Kiss your mate somewhere you never thought to kiss before (i.e. elbow, knee, toe)

63. Initiate affection (hugs, kisses, spooning)

64. Take good care of yourself so that you’re at your best for the one you love

65. A handmade gift or card

66. Write a sweet message on a fogged-up mirror so he/she will see it after exiting the shower

67. Cook your significant other’s’ favorite meal

68. Feed each other chocolate covered strawberries

69. Cuddle by the fireplace

70. Laugh and have fun with each other

71. Rub his/her feet

72. Create a scrapbook together

73. Start a hobby together

74. Dance indoors to your favorite song

75. Ask about each other’s day

IT'S MINE

2011-01-18T10:53:00.044-05:00

A friend of mine who shall remain nameless sent this to me a few weeks ago. I promised her I wouldn't post it until she made some revisions and came up with a pen name, however, I think it needs no revision. And since I am the owner of my blog I chose to share this well written piece with all of you. I'm curious to hear feedback...

"IT'S MINE"

My first question is why do guys always want to count orgasms? Do they understand that it should be about the journey to the orgasm and not solely about seeing how fast and how many times they can make us climax?

So the two guys I am having sex with both do the same thing: count and insist on seeing how many times they can make me reach an orgasm. I explain that for me having an orgasm is easy, though that doesn't apply to all women. Many of us can reach an orgasm better or easier all by ourselves, so their accomplishment isn't really a huge feat. Men really should focus on foreplay and the climb to the orgasm to ensure the most intensity and pleasure from the orgasm itself.

So despite the pleas to "make it his" I decided to sleep with a second of the three guys I'm dating. At risk of feeling I'd be classified as a ho, I decided that men do it all the time so why not? I'm tired ofthe double standards! Anyway, glad I did. Turns out they are both very good sexual partners and I get something very different from each of them. But something similar that I get from both of them is - counting orgasms and wanting to make "it" theirs.

The first partner alluded to it our first time together and by the third time was saying things like, "I want to make this mine" and "I don't want anyone else up in this." The second partner said during our first time together, "What do I have to do to make this mine?" Well at least he asked. And since we have pretty good open & honest conversations, I asked if it was sex talk. He verified that it was but that it held some meaning. He would like to know that no one else will be having the pleasure of my company sexually. We also discussed that there is a difference between wanting the sex to be his exclusively and wanting me exclusively as in a relationship. Interesting.

This email has been sitting in my folder and just came across it last night. I was with my #2 friend last night and again got the "I want this to be mine, what do I have to do?" question. So it reminded me to send this to you.

Is it just me or do all men ask this same question during sex? Why do all men focus too much on the orgasm and/or counting them?

By the way, my responses to their questions during sex are as follows:

1. So how many times did you come? I don't count. I can make myself come as many times as I want to. I was more concerned with what you were doing before I came.

2. What do I have to do to make it mine? It's not up for sale or lease. It's all mine baby. Best you can do is be glad I'm sharing it with you and treat it like the very special gift that it is.

THE DIVA TOOL KIT

2010-12-06T13:07:00.000-05:00

I had breakfast last weekend with my good ole buddy Erik and out of the dozens of things we talked about, "the diva tool kit" stuck the hardest.

A diva tool kit is a set of tools kept in a special bag for spontaneous "nights out."

Every woman should be prepared for a scenario where there's an unplanned chance to go home with someone "special" for the night. The last thing you need is not to be ready for this type of situation and end up missing out on a sexy night or feeling uncomfortable because your not properly equipped for the evening.
This is where the diva tool kit comes in.

Single women dating should not be caught dead without their kit.

THE DIVA TOOL KIT SHOULD CONTAIN AT LEAST THE FOLLOWING:

1. Razor - to shave underarms, private areas and legs if need be

2. Shower cap - keep the coif from getting wet

3. Brush and comb - for touching up your coif

4. Wash cloth, travel size body wash and lotion

5. A pair of panties - for before or after, your choice

6. Toothbrush - for before and after

7. Condoms - goes without saying

8. KY- just in case

*The diva tool kit can be stored in a bag in the trunk of your vehicle.

THE MAN INSIDE MY DREAMS

2010-12-01T16:04:00.000-05:00

I want the kind of man that I see in my dreams. Literally see in my dreams...while my weary head rests on the pillow and my mind is a million miles away in a parallel universe.

There's always a lot of passion and emotion involved whenever I dream about a love interest. It's so intense even after I wake up from the dream. I think about "that man" and "that feeling" for the entire day wishing and hoping the dream would miraculously manifest itself in my real life.

I recently had a dream that left me feeling some type of ways...
I was in a house that was in the process of being built. I could here workmen outside hammering and talking. The sun was setting as I stood inside a room with a big window. There was another man in the room. A cocoa colored man with velvet skin and piercing eyes. He wasn't tall but he was tall enough. I think he even had short dred locks. He might have been from the islands. There was an unspoken attraction. He was a bit shy but I recognized interest and reciprocated. Out of nowhere a guy I went to high school with was in the dream and he was vying for my attention. After a few minutes of conversation I dismissed his efforts and he left. I had chosen the shy one with the piercing eyes. I turned towards him and pulled him closer, feeling the tide of his abs through his shirt and relishing in the feeling inside me. I kissed him lightly on the lips as we looked at each other. We were both aware of the heat. It all felt so real. I woke up smiling from ear to ear and begging the sleep Gods to take me back inside my dream so I can finish.

This isn't the first time I've dreamt about an unknown man that left me feeling and wondering. It happens once in a blue. The last time I had a similar dream I documented it in my dream blog: http://eyeswydeshut.blogspot.com/2009/06/man-in-my-dream.html

As I ran my errands for the day I couldn't stop thinking about "the man in my dreams." It seems like it's only inside my dreams that I get to experience the unattainable. That attraction and connection that doesn't come very often but when it does you hold it near and dear to your heart. After dismissing and analyzing my dream, I came to the conclusion that these type of dreams (among others) give me hope. Hope that perhaps the man inside my dreams does exist and it's through these dreams that I can continue believing. You may read this and think I'm nuts. But I'm not. I'm an idealist and I don't think that's ever going to change. I love dreaming while my eyes are shut and my mind is asleep. I have the most fabulous dreams sometimes, dreams worth blogging about in full detail.

A TALL, DARK & HANDSOME UPDATE

2010-11-29T17:45:00.001-05:00

I wrote a rather interesting post titled 'Standards and Requirements' on January 5th, 2010 after meeting a talk, dark and handsome man. Our meeting happened quite by chance: one of those random moments where you don't expect to meet anyone let alone someone that embodies all the surface elements.

There I was sitting at our table engrossed in my blackberry when out of nowhere appeared this man dressed in a black velvet blazer with a five o'clock shadow that would put George Clooney out of business. He greeted our host (his friend), said hello to my sister and then looked at me and smiled as he extended his hand. He was introduced to me by our mutual acquaintance as David. I smiled, shook his hand, watched him for a few seconds and returned to my blackberry. Immediately my mind started racing with WTF's and OMG's. But of course a lady must always play it cool. Five minutes later he asked me if I wanted another drink. I smiled politely and nodded yes. Conversation somewhat flowed between the fours of us but for the most part I didn't say much. I indirectly observed. After dinner, we migrated to the dance floor and ended up having a swell time. We flirted a bit and exchanged numbers at the end of the night and then he walked me to my car.

That encounter along with a simple yet profound question he asked me at the end of the night inspired the original Standards and Requirements post- http://vent09.blogspot.com/2010/01/standards-requirements.html

A few people have since asked about the tall, dark and handsome stranger and what came of it. Well, I'm saddened to report that absolutely nothing came of it. After that night, we communicated via text for a while. We flirted with the possibilities and kept each other amused. I'd gotten all the green signals from him so naturally I thought we were on the same page. We even hung out once at a jazz lounge and slow danced to a live band, which was a great moment or so I thought. I remember asking a bunch of questions in an effort to get to know him and conversing about likes and dislikes. After the night was over, he walked me to the car and hugged me goodnight and then gave me a peck on the lips. What should one have taken away from that? That he's interested, right? Wrong. We continued texting one another after that night and then all of a sudden he switched lanes.

Needless to say, I was left in the woods blindfolded with only a short branch to find my way home. I wasn't sure what exactly had or hadn't happened. But he later told me that he was seeing someone and didn't want to lead me on in any way. Ok, I respect that. However, shouldn't that have been established in the beginning? Why go through the motions if the flow isn't going in the same direction? So I regretfully walked away from that situation having never known what it could've been. Now every time I see his photo (we're Facebook buddies) I am reminded of how devilishly handsome he is and what I can't have. Just my luck...I meet the one man that I'm actually interested in and he isn't available. Better luck next time I guess.

One great thing that came out of all this (besides his million dollar question) was a series of short poems inspired by my temporary muse. Titles include: Slow Dancing In a Burning Room, Liquid Courage, Bordeaux Black and One Never Knows. If you wish to read, visit: http://thoughtsinblu.blogspot.com/ and look under the January tab.

WHAT MAKES ME FEEL EMPOWERED AND POWERFUL?

2010-11-16T16:42:00.000-05:00

I feel empowered when my mind and spirit are in tune, when I wake up early from a well rested night with great purpose, when I write and my words inspire others, when I'm true to myself. I know that I feel empowered when I create something new, when I run and listen to music, when I share a home cooked meal with my family, when I conquer my fears and let go. I feel powerful when I work, when I pray with my mom, when I love, when I wear a great looking outfit and sexy lingerie underneath, when I have on a killer pair of high heels, when I walk out of the hair salon. I feel powerful when I can stand on my own two feet, when I share my thoughts, when my mind and body are strong.

Enough about me. What makes YOU feel empowered and powerful?

MY CREATIVE REVIEW

2010-10-31T13:37:00.000-04:00

http://reviewsbyellen.blogspot.com/2010/10/why-i-loved-rihannas-performance-on-snl.html

EARTHA KIT - COMPROMISE FOR WHAT???

2010-10-19T18:20:00.000-04:00

WHY I LOVE EARTHA KIT!

JK ROWLING'S COMMENCEMENT SPEECH @ HARVARD (June 2008)

2010-10-02T14:02:00.000-04:00

THE EJW PROJECT

2010-09-14T10:23:00.000-04:00

The Unedited Version of a Free Spirited Existence

Web log of a Kenyan-American girl's outrageous life.

You can't make this kind of comedy up!

http://theejwproject.blogspot.com

SHUGA Episode Three - An MTV Series Shot in Kenya

2010-09-07T00:09:00.001-04:00

Shuga Episode 3 from mtv staying alive on Vimeo.

SHUGA Episode Two - An MTV Series Shot in Kenya

2010-09-07T00:09:00.000-04:00

Shuga Episode 2 from mtv staying alive on Vimeo.

SHUGA Episode One - An MTV Series Shot in Kenya

2010-09-06T23:11:00.000-04:00

Ok, so now I'm hooked. This is brilliant!!! Kudos to MTV!

Shuga Episode 1 from mtv staying alive on Vimeo.

MY BLOG: MISSION POSSIBLE

2010-08-26T16:38:00.002-04:00

I started my blog over a year ago and it is one of the smartest writing decisions I have ever made. Prior to my blog, all my thoughts stayed bottled up inside my head with no audience and no applause. Thanks to blogging I have been able to spread my creative wings and share my essence with the masses. My Mind Wash blog is a place to vent about any and everything.

I've always believed, whether we realize it or not, that there is a mission behind every move we make. Starting my blog was a way to inspire and motivate other creative beings to start their own blog and share their work and talent with the world. It also led me to create my website- Ellen's Door. The mission behind ellensdoor.com is to provide a global forum for artists, businesses, sites, bloggers, writers and all things creative to promote themselves behind one door. All you have to do is open it and you'll find some pretty amazing stuff.

This post was inspired by:
http://www.bloomingwildflowers.com/2010/02/getting-passionate-about-my-blog.html

HORRIFIED BLOGGER

2010-08-26T16:30:00.007-04:00

Holy shitake! That's insane. I can't believe he would go to those lengths to ruin your rep. If anything, he's making himself look bad and anyone who knows you will understand that you are not the person he describes you to be. He definitely gives bloggers/blogging a bad rep and I can only hope that this random act of stupidness does not affect anyone's view of blogging.

In response to:
http://www.practiceofmadness.com/

10 WAYS TO SEDUCE HER

2010-08-03T09:11:00.007-04:00

1. UNDERSTAND THE ART OF SEDUCTION

2. KNOW HER NEEDS

3. DON’T BE EMBARRASED TO ASK WHAT TURNS HER ON

4. KISS HER WITH PASSION

5. TOUCH EVERYTHING EXCEPT HER PLEASURE ZONES

6. BATHE HER AND SURPRISE HER WITH DINNER

7. IMAGINE YOU’RE EATING A JUICY FRUIT WHILE TASTING HER

8. TAKE A SHOWER TOGETHER

9. WANT TO PLEASE HER

10. FORGET YOUR OWN NEEDS

10 WAYS TO SEDUCE HIM

2010-08-03T09:10:00.004-04:00

1. UNDERSTAND THE ART OF SEDUCTION

2. WANT TO PLEASE HIM

3. BLINDFOLD HIM AND LEAD HIM TO DIFFERENT PARTS OF YOUR BODY

4. WATCH B.J. TUTORIALS

5. MEET HIM AT THE DOOR WITH NOTHING ON

6. HAVE AN OPEN MIND

7. DRESS UP IN SEXY COSTUMES: (IE. FRENCHMAID, SCHOOLGIRL)

8. COOK HIS FAVORTIE MEAL AND FEED IT TO HIM

9. BE A FREAK IN THE BEDROOM AND A LADY IN THE STREETS

10. FORGET YOUR OWN NEEDS

JOKE OF THE WEEK: LULU THE PROSTITUTE

2010-07-24T17:35:00.001-04:00

Lulu was a prostitute. One day there was a raid. All the prostitutes were lined up outside the police station as they took them in one by one. As Lulu stood in line, she saw her Grandma coming down the street and was so ashamed. Grandma didn't know her occupation.

Grandma stopped to say hi, and asked what the line was for. Lulu, saving face, said that the police were giving away fresh oranges to those waiting. Grandma said wonderful she loved oranges and got at the end of the line. When the policeman got to the end and saw her, he was amazed. He said "How the heck do you do this at your age?" She said "I just take out my teeth, rip the skin back and suck' em dry!" The policeman fainted.

Priceless!!
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

SEVEN SURPRISING SIGNS HE'LL NEVER MARRY YOU

2010-07-18T18:00:00.001-04:00

Read this article on Yahoo and had to share....

The tricky thing about womanizers is that they usually have their game down pat, which means it's easy to get sucked in. Here are some of the subtle clues a guy has a case of commitment phobia. If he exhibits three or more of these, watch out.

By Niki Evans

1. All of His Exes Are "Crazy"

Be wary of a man who refers to his former girlfriends as crazy, psycho, or clingy — because what's the common denominator here? Him. The dude's either looney-bin glue, or he never really wanted the relationship to work in the first place.

2. He Plans Ultra-Romantic Dates

A cozy candlelit dinner is nice and all, but if he only takes you to secluded places, it could be a tip-off that he doesn't want other women to spot him on a date. Next time he asks you out, suggest hitting up a busy restaurant or popular bar and see how he reacts.

3. He's Hot and Cold on the Phone

He'll text you 10 times in a night, then go MIA for days. He'll chat on the phone for an hour, then ignore your messages for the rest of the week. Wondering what the heck is going on? We're going to be brutally honest: He's mostly likely busy dating other women.

4. He Guilt-Trips You

It's normal for a guy to be jonesing to sleep with you from day one. But this behavior is a red flag if he a) lays the pressure on thick, or b) tries to make you feel bad if you choose not to get physical — like by giving you a sob story about how worked up he is without the release of sex.

5. Stuff Is Missing from His Facebook Profile

Has he untagged any photos of you and him? Does he post updates often, yet never mention hanging out with you? Is his relationship status hidden? We smell a rat. A guy who's leery of commitment will make sure there are no traces of you on his page.

6. His Buddies Act Distant

Even though a player's bros may be friendly enough, they probably won't ask you many personal questions about your job, interests, etc. The ugly truth: They don't want to invest time and energy getting to know you because they figure you're not going to be around very long.

7. He Says You're Soul Mates

Okay, we adore the idea of love at first sight — but too much too soon could also indicate sketchy intentions. If a dude comes on super strong right off the bat (we're talking the first couple of weeks), telling you things like that he's starting to fall in love with you, just make sure you play it safe and trust your gut. Those powerful words might be rolling off his tongue so smoothly because he's spoken them so many times before.

SOURCES: William July, Ph.D., Author of Confessions of an Ex-Bachelor and Jenn Berman, Psy.D., Relationship Expert for Cosmo Radio.

IT'S A BIRD IT'S A PLANE! NOPE, IT'S A FLYING CAR!

2010-06-30T14:50:00.000-04:00

Yes, you read correctly - a flying car. The Terrafugia Transition is a private aircraft that weights 1,320 and has been approved by the FAA. Web searches have skyrocketed after the recent announcement that it's going into production.

Check out the video below to see how the flying car works. According to Yahoo Buzz, so far 70 people have placed a deposit. The total retail cost: $194,000.

Interesting concept.

Flying Car Video - Terrafugia @ Yahoo! Video

SOMETHING NEW

2010-06-23T11:24:00.000-04:00

In life, one of my favorite things to do is getting to know the unknown. Meeting new and interesting people. Discovering new territory and finding out what makes them special or unique. I firmly believe that people come in and out of our lives for specific reasons. Be it good or bad, the impression that's left behind has the power to impact.

When new individuals come into play, my process is very under the radar. I'm not the person that's going to try and outshine, out talk or overstep anyone else. Instead, I am the quiet spider in the corner observing all that surrounds me. That's how I learn others. I watch and listen. People, unbeknownst to them, reveal an awful lot by what they say and how they act when they think they have an audience. It's how I separate the cool from the not so cool.

How people act in front of others is usually different than how they would act in a one-on-one scenario. This especially rings true for guys. When surrounded by their male peers, the hear-me-roar character tends to rear its ego injected head, but when, for example, their on a date, in comes the cool calm and collected side that smiles and lowers his head when the woman he's smitten with dares to seductively stare into his eyes. It's interesting to watch the mighty lion turn into a bashful cub.

The process can be very fullfilling if one takes the time to pay attention and be genuinely interested in getting to know someone new. Yes, people disappoint other people, but my thinking is, if you're aware of the beast then you're less likely to feel the blow should the beast choose to strike. The key here is, like I said, to pay attention, read the signs, be cool and listen. That's it. Something new can be something great. Or not. It's part of the game. Play it well.

ART PIECE OF THE WEEK

2010-06-22T11:12:00.000-04:00

Paper Places - Alice by Brianna McCarthy
briannamccarthy.blogspot.com

"RED" by DANIEL MERRIWEATHER

2010-06-16T19:28:00.000-04:00

I CAN'T STOP LISTENING TO THIS...

DAVID AFTER DENTIST

2010-06-14T12:49:00.002-04:00

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS!!!!

BOTTOMS UP: NEW SUMMER SIPS

2010-06-05T16:49:00.002-04:00

There's a new sheriff in town and he's known as PaQui, which means "to be happy" in native Aztec language. According to Drinks magazine, PaQui is one of the newest luxury tequilas to hit the American spirits scene. Enjoy the inviting, flowery aroma and exquisite tastes of PaQui Reposado, PaQui Silvera & PaQui Anejo.

For the Margarita lover in you - brace yourself for the new 1800 Ultimate Pomegranate ready-to-Drink Margarita. Created with 100% Agave 1800 Silver Tequila and blended with the flavor of pomegranate and Persian lime extract. Mmm Mmm Good!

Gin and Juice anyone? Well, Beefeater Gin recently released a limited Beefeater Summer Edition Gin. A lighter style gin specially designed to reflect the more relaxed style of summer drinking, Beefeater Summer Edition Gin is created with the nine natural botanicals that are used in Beefeater London Dry Gin, with the addition of three new English inspired additions: elderflower, black currant, and hibiscus.

The Red Lights: Six light reds to cool you down during the dog days of summer
(by Maria Subialka)
Bardolino & Valpolicella
Rose
Dolcetto
Beaujolais & Cote De Beaune

Info pulled from DRINKS MAGAZINE!

HE FORGOT HIS WALLET!!

2010-06-03T19:39:00.000-04:00

A friend of mine told me she went out on a day date with a guy she's been hanging out with and the unthinkable happened: They went out for lunch among other festivities and when the check arrived he went into serious pat down mode looking for his wallet. According to my friend, he appeared to be genuinely mortified and apologetic for the mishap. Needless to say, she had to foot the bill for a date he asked her out to well in advance. Also, when they got home..cuz she stopped by his place and he asked her to come up for a few minutes, he didn't immediately start looking for his wallet nor did he offer to repay her right away. My question is, was this a genuine mistake? Or a tactic? Inquiring minds would really like to know....

A CUP OF COMFORT

2010-05-25T15:00:00.002-04:00

I love tea! My favorite blend is Kenyan tea (regular or tangawuzi) with milk of course! Everyday, if and when time allows, I have 4 o'clock tea with biscuits. And like clock work, it soothes my soul with little effort. One of my favorite things to do is hang out with my mom and enjoy a cup of tea and great conversation.

DANCING LIKE A STAR

2010-05-15T15:00:00.001-04:00

I absolutely love to dance. There's nothing better than hearing your favorite song and getting the urge to star in your own music video. It's also a great workout regimen. I try to dance like no one is watching every chance I get.

SEX SAFETY IN SLOW MOTION GRAFFITI

2010-05-13T17:48:00.000-04:00

Hilarious AND Effective!!

Sexo Seguro en Slow Motion Graffity

SUN SIGNS by Linda Goodman

2010-05-08T13:00:00.000-04:00

I discovered a jewel when I found "Sun Signs" by Linda Goodman. A blue hardcover book that reveals it all about who we are. I call it my "Oracle."

What sets this Sun Sign book apart from all the other astrology books is how each sign is broken down.

For example, I'm a Capricorn, and till this day I still clutch my pearls when I read about how to recognize a Capricorn, The Capricorn Man, Woman, Child, Boss and Employee. The character descriptions are so dead on that the chosen few I've shared the book with are all taken aback when they read about their own Sun Signs.

I was introduced to this book by an ex who shall remain nameless. He was a Pisces and an incredible singer. To make a long story short, we broke up after dating for almost a year and I took the book as a small settlement. We are friends till this day.

THE SMELL OF JOY

2010-05-01T08:39:00.001-04:00

The dish detergent? Yes.
Strange as it sounds, the smell of Joy is connected to one of the most prolific moments in my life: when I first moved to the States. I was nine years old the day I arrived with my mom and it was a day like no other. It was a hot July afternoon and the drive from the airport was the most scenic experience ever. I spent the entire ride looking out of the window at all the new things I had never seen before. Forty minutes later, we pulled up to a brick house with the greenest lawn I had ever seen and I swear I could hear birds chirping a welcome home tune. I got out of the car and just stood in the driveway looking at the block of colorful houses with neatly manicured lawns. I was in awe. I grabbed my mom's hand and we walked up the stairs and into our new house. One of the first things I remember besides the pea green couches and red carpet was the smell of something wonderful. I had never smelled anything like it and it seemed to fill the house; it filled me. It was the sweet aroma of Joy.

Now every time I smell Joy dish detergent, which is not often, I am transported back in time to that special day when I first came to America.

NO PHONE ZONE

2010-04-30T17:24:00.000-04:00

It's official! I signed the No Phone Zone Pledge today and I plan to do my part and not text or talk on the phone while driving. The last thing I need on my conscious is knowing that I took a life or hurt someone all because of reading or typing a text or even dialing or talking on the phone. Seriously, whoever is on the other end can wait until I get to my destination. It's something so minor: changing a habit to save someones life as well as my own. Please take the pledge.

To sign the No Phone Zone Pledge go to www.oprah.com

THINGS MEN SAY

2010-04-27T19:49:00.007-04:00

When a man tells AND shows you who he is-

Listen!

Do Not, I repeat, Do Not

switch gears into superwoman mode and take on the impossible responsibility of "changing" him. Instead, pack your belongings, bid him adieu and hit the ground running as if there were a million dollar prize waiting on the brighter side of the rainbow.

Think of all the time and energy we can save ourselves by paying attention and not being blinded by the good looks and dashing smiles. Men tell us who they are ALL the time by what they they do and say. Unbeknownst to them, they let off little warnings signs here and there that can easily be overlooked.

What's unfortunate is that we seem to believe that "our" love and presence will be the saving grace. That's not always the case.

Not listening to the signs, more often that not, leaves the fairer sex feeling battered and bruised and wondering why he was such an asshole when he candidly explained on the third date that he is indeed an asshole and will never change. To make it easier to spot the signs, I conducted a survey with a select group of women and asked their opinion on some of the things men say or show that we can ALL look out for....

Run Really Fast When He SHOWS:

He's insensitive

Thrill seeking behavior (Dr. Ali Binazir*)

Selfish behavior

Devil-may-care attitude (Dr. Ali Binazir*)

Evasiveness (Dr. Ali Binazir*)

Lack of consideration

He isn't quick to put on a condom

Unwilling to compromise

Just a tad too smooth (Dr. Ali Binazir*)

Run Even Faster When He SAYS:

It's hard to love me

I'm an asshole

I'm never going to change

My baby momma gets on my last nerve

My current situation is complicated

I don't have a good relationship with my mother

Women tend to leave after spending three days with me

I don't believe in God

I can't take care of you

You can leave if you want to

Are you expecting pillow talk too?

I love you, but I'm not in love with you

You think you can do better than me?

Go ahead, leave!

I have bad credit but its not my fault

I don't believe in paying my taxes

PASSION OF FRUIT

2010-04-26T16:31:00.000-04:00

I LOVE PASSION FRUIT
When I was a little girl, I climbed passion fruit trees with my cousins all the time. My grandparents had a big tree in their yard and we would climb to the top and pluck them right off the branches. Then we would climb back down, sit under the tree and crack each fruit open and suck the juices and seeds right out.

It was the most delicious thing ever! Plucking was the best part because sometimes the fruit would fall to the ground and make a thud that sometimes softened the hard shell depending on how high up the tree stood. I loved the color - a deep royal purple. Perhaphs that's where my love for the color purple stems from...

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

2010-04-21T23:34:00.002-04:00

And I Thought Windows Vista Had Issues

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.

Deat Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and don’t forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

Also do not attempt to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,

Tech Support

*I found this on StumbleUpon.com (great site) and I just had to share!

HOW LONG SHOULD ONE WAIT TO HAVE SEX?

2010-04-21T18:40:00.000-04:00

Tis' the age old question. After reading Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man, I realized how truly important it is to wait before crossing the sex lines if you see a future with someone.

Shortly after reading the book, I started to really give some more thought to the process of meeting someone and waiting before jumping into bed. I can’t speak for anyone else but I have been guilty of dating and then getting physical only to lose interest within a short period of time, or much worse, feel disappointed because the sex was just average or because my partner was unsure about his feelings but wanted to maintain the physical aspect of the relationship, which, IF I desired more, left me with the short end of the stick.

We're so often caught up in the heat of the moment that when it's all said and done and the challenge is no longer available, the moment no longer holds as much weight as it did before sex was involved.

But in the same breath, we're not always looking to be in long term relationships with everyone we bed, but for those that qualify, I think it's worth pursuing a new pattern to get different results.

So what is the appropriate waiting time? Well, according to Steve Harvey, it's 90 days but one could argue that all they need is a month or two tops.

In this case, three months gives us more than enough time to really get to know someone and vice versa. Time to figure out if waiting, among other valuable things, will be a rewarding investment or NOT. The same concept applies to new hires before receiving benefits. We all know that companies don't just give out benefits, we have to put in the work for a certain amount of time and prove ourselves. It's within that 90 day grace period that we get to form solid friendships and foundations with the people in our lives and should it not work out, perhaps these same individuals can remain friends instead of distant memories or enemies.

WINDOW FREAK

2010-04-16T19:00:00.001-04:00

I absolutely love windows. So much to see outside....how can you not love windows.

Im a sucker for a house with big windows- floor to ceiling windows..

Or a nice corner office that overlooks the city windows...

Windows on the World (pre-WTC)

Blink 182 or Sum 21's house on MTV Cribs had incredible windows....

I FELL FROM THE APPLE TREE

2010-04-14T13:24:00.001-04:00

Of slight build, lots of charm, appeal, and attraction, pleasant aura, flirtatious, adventurous, sensitive, always in love, wants to love and be loved, faithful and tender partner, very generous, scientific talents, lives for today, a carefree philosopher with imagination.

What tree did you fall from? http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2jLDst/www.gowally.com/fun/tree.htm

THE ONLY 12 1/2 WRITING RULES YOU'LL EVER NEED

2010-04-14T12:49:00.002-04:00

I'LL TAKE THE STAIRS INSTEAD

2010-04-14T12:04:00.001-04:00

"We believe that the easiest way to change people's behaviour for the better is by making it fun to do. We call it The fun theory." http://www.thefuntheory.com

ART PIECE OF THE WEEK

2010-04-05T14:32:00.002-04:00

MY TOP 5 FAVORITE EATS IN NY/NJ

2010-03-23T16:28:00.003-04:00

There is no love sincerer than the love of food.
George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950), Man and Superman (1903) act 1

PIZZA GALLERY - Edgewater, NJThey have the best Chicken Francese w/ Spinach known to mankind! When I lived in the area, I ordered this dish at least two times a week for twelve months. It was like my own personal Cheer's, when I called they knew my name, when they delivered they knew my face. Life was grand at the Pizza Gallery!

272 River Rd
Edgewater, NJ 07020-1005
(201) 941-5060

COFFEE TREE CAFE - Fort Lee, NJ This Moroccan themed haven makes the most amazing Penne Vodka Pasta. Dear God, it's almost orgasmic! It's a comfy cafe where you can hang out and get online, people watch and just chill and enjoy great affordable American/Italian food and good service. My friend and old landlord Marco B. owns it...kudos to Marco!

1636 Palisade Ave
Fort Lee, NJ 07024
(201) 947-2774

EL ENSUENOS - Paterson, NJNow this place brings back a lot of freakin memories. I spent a lot of time there eating and kicking it with friends. My favorite all time dish was the steak, onions, white rice, salad, sweet plantains & hold the beans special. It never failed me. It's a great Spanish restaurant tucked away in the hood and is worth the risky trip.

235 E 16th St
Paterson, NJ 07524
(973) 278-5528

EL PASO'S -Manhattan The first time I tasted their Shrimp Verde dish I knew right away that I'd found a gem. My ultra cool friend Rich Nice introduced me, as he does often, to his many favorite hideout spots. Whether it's a swanky bar, a velvety lounge, or an excellent Mexican restaurant, he always knows of a great place to go. A pitcher of Sangria is a must at El Paso's. It's a Nice finish ;-)

134 W Houston St
New York, NY 10012
(212) 673-0828

BAR PITI - ManhattanMy old friend Lenny S. took me here for dinner one night and I gotta say, it was definitely love at first sight. He recommended the Rigatoni Piti w/ Garlic Spinach and boy am I glad he did! It was to die for, just as he said it would be. A glass of Pinot Noir to compliment the meal is a must and completes the masterpiece.

Bar Piti is a indoor/outdoor quaint Italian restaurant (you actually feel like your in Italy) that only the super cool kids know about. On a warm spring or summer day, it's perfect to sit outside and dine. Lots of expensive looking black foreign cars with chauffeurs are always parked out front. I just love it!

268 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10014-4721
(212) 982-3300‎

HEALTH CARE CEREMONY HIGHLIGHTS

2010-03-23T11:05:00.007-04:00

The east room is full and the air is thick with excitement and anticipation as a historic moment marks a new season in America.

VICE PRESIDENT BIDEN -
History is not merely what is printed in text books. It doesn't begin or end with a stroke of a pen. History is made when men and women decide that there is a greater risk in accepting a situation that we cannot bear.

"History is made when passion is matched with principle."

PRESIDENT OBAMA:
The health care reform bill will set into motion reforms that generations of American have fought for and marched for and hungered to see. It will take four years to implement fully many of these reforms because we need to implement them responsibly.

Several measures in bill to take effect "this year-"

Tax credits to about 4M small business men and women to help them cover the cost of insurance for employees.

Uninsured Americans with pre-existing conditions and parents of children with a pre existing condition will be able to purchase the coverage they need.

Insurance companies will no longer be able to drop people's coverage when they get sick or place lifetime limits or restrictive annual limits on the amount of care they can receive.

All new insurance plans will be required to offer free preventive care.

Young adults will be able to stay on their parents policies until they are 26 yrs old.

Seniors who fall in the coverage gap known as the donut hole will start getting some help - receive $250 to help pay for prescriptions that will overtime fill in the donut hole. Reforms will not cut guaranteed benefits.

Under this law, Americans on medicare will receive free preventive care without co-payments and deductibles.

Americans will be able to get the same good deal that members of congress get.

Millions of people will get tax breaks to help afford coverage, which represents the largest middle-class tax cut for health care in history.

Legislation will also lower cost for families and businesses and for the federal government reducing deficit by over 1T in the next two decades. It's paid for, it is fiscally responsible and will help lift a decades-long drag on our economy.

"We are not a nation that scales back its aspirations."

"Everybody should have some basic security when it comes to their health."

IT'S OFFICIAL - President Obama has signed the legislation with 20 pens. Each pen will be used to sign a little piece of an initial of a letter that he will write. Health Care Reform is now the law of the land.

"The greatest wealth is health" - The Classic Poet & Philosopher Virgil

CHEATING HUBBY'S: THE SAGA CONTINUES

2010-03-18T19:15:00.011-04:00

So Jesse James is officially a member of the Cheating Hubby's Club. I can't believe it! I never thought he would drink the kool aid. Are there any men out there that can keep it in their pants for the sake of love and respect? I mean, seriously! What the hell do men want? They have a good woman at home but yet they seek sex elsewhere.

Some random woman named Michelle "Bombshell" McGee spoke out to In Touch magazine claiming to have had an 11-month affair with James. This means the affair was going on while Sandra Bullock was shooting "The Blind Side." WTF!!!

According to McGee, James led her to believe that he and Bullock were separated. Of course he did!

She also claimed her sexual relations with James took place inside his West Coast Choppers shop. Shocking! (Not really)

McGee calls herself "Bombshell" on the Web site, So-Cal Glamour Girls and she claims she grew up Amish, but left the church and does not speak to her parents.

In a clip from a Player's Network video found on youtube, McGee explained one of her tattoos, located on her forehead.

Are you serious Jesse James? You cheated on your wife with a chick that calls herself "Bombshell" and has a tattoo on her forehead that says, 'Pray for us sinners?' WoW.

I wish this wasn't true, however, James already issued an apology one day after being hit with allegations:

"I will not dignify these private matters with any further public comment," his statement continued. "There is only one person to blame for this whole situation, and that is me."

"It's because of my poor judgment that I deserve everything bad that is coming my way," his said in the statement. "This has caused my wife and kids pain and embarrassment beyond comprehension and I am extremely saddened to have brought this on them. I am truly very sorry for the grief I have caused them. I hope one day they can find it in their hearts to forgive me."

So it must be true, otherwise why would he issue an apology?

Ugh! I always thought they were the golden couple: blue collar/self made business man and beautiful Oscar winning actress. It was a match made in heaven, or so I thought.

My heart goes out to SB.

GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN

2010-03-16T16:20:00.002-04:00

A friend of mine emailed me this and I just had to share.....

GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa - half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe - well-developed and open to trade, especially for something of real value.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain - very hot, relaxed, and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece & gently aging, but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all-conquering past..

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel - has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, and takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada - cool, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet - wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages.... an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN - Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran - ruled by nuts.

MAKE ME OVER, MAKE ME BEAUTIFUL

2010-03-12T08:00:00.004-05:00

What defines beauty? Is it the way a person looks, facial structure, hair, weight, skin complexion, height, body parts, fuller lips or tighter skin?

In today's society, it seems as if the rules for beauty seem to be superficially defined and ever-changing. The 'beauty is within' belief appears to be insignificant compared to 'beauty on the outside.' After all, beauty or lack thereof is the first thing people notice, judge, remember, talk about, emulate and adore. Or at least that's what society has been brainwashed to think and believe.

The fact of the matter is- beauty has become King. It rules lives, changes ideals and has completely taken over how people see themselves. The mirror is no longer in the privacy of our own bedrooms, instead it's out there in the world reflecting images of perfection according to society: thin physiques, large breasts, botox injected faces, lips, nip/tucked arms and bellies, long tresses, smaller noses, voluptuous back sides, and the list goes on and on.

"If I don't like it and it can be changed, then by all means, change it!" Right?

In China, height has become a prerequisite for success. Height requirements are not unheard of for certain jobs, admission to colleges and even dating. If one is too short, then the option to add a foot or two to look taller and feel more secure and confident is available for purchase. Never mind the painful and horrific process it takes to actually make an individual taller: holes are drilled into the leg bone and screws are inserted to stabilize an adjustable leg brace followed by sawing the leg bone in half below the knee. Recovery time for this nifty surgery is six months.

What's absolutely mind boggling is the idea that people are ready and willing to undergo that amount of pain and change all for the sake of fitting into a specific mold. What's even more incredible, is the amount of power given up just so one can feel physically accepted.

A Few Statistics:

In Mauritania, stretch marks and pleasantly plump women are desirable.

In India, drinking distilled cow urine to enhance beauty is the norm.

In Paris, models have become obsessed with being skinny that it borders on unhealthy.

In Finland, women sit in saunas and then go outside in minus 15 degree C (5 degrees F) weather to jump in the snow (with only a bathing suit on) and roll around because its good for the skin.

In Nigeria, having long luxurious locks is extremely popular and heavily influenced by international stars and the desire to keep up with trends.

Questions To Ponder....

What would life would be like if the standards of beauty didn't fall short on accepting people as they are?

How would women exist if large breasts weren't a must have in order to be in playboy, or to get attention, to fill out a bikini top, or fulfill a need to be perceived as attractive?

What would the outcome be if people just worked out to lose weight as opposed to spending thousands of dollars getting the fat sucked out of their bodies?

Who's To Blame?

Is Western culture at fault for obsessive body image alterations?

Or should the blame go to shallow-minded individuals that are unhappy and unsatisfied with their appearance?

Truth
It's kind of obvious that foreign countries fashion that which is projected by popular media outlets: commercials, magazines, movies, television - the majority stemming from the Wild Wild West.

What about the age old saying "beauty is in the eye of the beholder?" I guess there's some truth to that after all considering how much people change about themselves in order to be looked at as beautiful.

I wonder what the masses think about this topic....

BLOCKING YOUR PENIS BLESSINGS

2010-03-10T14:23:00.011-05:00

My sister and I went to an open mic poetry show last Friday at a local hotspot in DC called The @ttic. The show was celebrating Women's History Month and featured none other than The Queen of Spoken Word- Georgia Me along with special guests Theresa Tha S.o.n.g.B.i.r.d, Talia, Anomaly, Maha Adachi, Tasha Jones, and M'Reld.

What I enjoyed the most was the effortless humor that each poet brought to the stage. I realized that it's not enough to just recite your poem to a crowded room; an outstanding personality as well as the ability to relate to the audience goes along way.

During intermission, one of the guest hosts came on stage to do her usual thing: entertain the crowd, make jokes and kill time. I was standing in the back with my arms crossed over my chest watching the room in amusement when out of nowhere I heard her say, "Ladies, I'm gonna need you to please uncross your arms and stop blocking your penis blessings!"

Did she just say what I think she said? Yeah, she did. I quickly uncrossed my arms and let them fall to my side and looked over at my sister who was doubled over in stitches. She immediately gave me a knowing look after uncrossing her arms and we both, along with rest of the crowd, burst out laughing for a good five minutes.

The following morning I met with the breakfast crew and decided to bring up the previous night and the blocking of my penis blessings. Needless to say, the men agreed 100% that women do indeed send a certain message when arms are crossed over their chest.

The messaged being: DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT APPROACHING ME.

One of the guys then went on to say, "Look at how your sitting now, your hands are crossed and you don't look like you want to be bothered or approached."

Then I said, "What if I don't want to be approached?"

He said, "Then I guess you won't be getting any penis blessings in this lifetime."

Damn, no penis blessings in this lifetime? That doesn't sound good at all.

I say all this to say- Ladies, perhaps we should be more mindful of our body language and what messages we want to send out into the matrix. If you're standing or sitting with your arms crossed, chances are a dude (or anyone for that matter) will hesitate to approach you due to the invisible "keep away" sign dangling from your tightly crossed arms. Even if its unintentional, people have a way of reading body language and interpreting what they see as how you feel. I will certainly be more mindful when I'm out in public!

82nd Annual Academy Award Winners

2010-03-07T20:44:00.011-05:00

And the award goes to....

Best Performance by Actor in a Supporting Role and First Win of the Evening - Chrsitoph Waltz for "Inglourious Basterds" (1st academy award & nomination)

Best Animated Feature Film - "Up" Directed by Pete Docter (1st Academy Award & 6th Nomination - 1st nomination was for the original screenplay-Toy Story)

Best Original Song - Ryan Bingham, T Bone Burnett for "The Weary Kind (Theme from Crazy Heart)" (1st academy award & nomination for Ryan Bingham and 1st Oscar & 2nd nomination for T Bone Burnett)

Best Original Screenplay - Mark Boal for "The Hurt Locker" (1st academy award)

Best Animated Short - Nicolas Schmerkin for "Logoroma" (1st academy award & nomination)

Best Documentary Short - Roger Ross Williams, Elinor Burkett for "Music by Prudence" (1st academy award & nomination)

Best Live Action Short - Joachim Back, Tivi Magnusson for "The New Tenants" (1st academy award & nomination for Joachim Back and 1st academy & 2nd nomination for Tivi Magnusson)

Best Makeup -Barney Burman, Mindy Hall, Joel Harlow for "Star Trek" (1st academy award for all three)

Best Adapted Screenplay - Geoffrey Fletcher for "Precious" (1st academy award)

Best Performance by Actress in a Supporting Role - Monique for "Precious" (1st academy award)

Outstanding Art Direction - Rick Carter, Robert Stromberg, production design & Kim Sinclair, set decoration for "Avatar" (1st academy award & 2nd nomination for Rick Carter and Robert Stromberg, 1st Oscar & nomination for Kim Sinclair)

Best Costume Design - Sandy Powell for "The Young Victoria" (3rd academy award and 8th nomination, also took home Oscars for Shakespeare In Love and The Aviator in this category)

Best Sound Editing - Paul N.J. Ottosson for "The Hurt Locker" (1st academy award and 3rd nomination)

Best Sound Mixing - Paul N.J. Ottosson, Ray Beckett for "The Hurt Locker" (2nd academy award and 3rd nomination for Paul N.J. Ottosson & 1st academy award and nomination for Ray Beckett)

Outstanding Achievement in Cinematography - Mauro Fiore for "Avatar" (1st academy award & nomination)

Best Original Score - Michael Giacchino for "Up" (1st academy award & 2nd nomination)

Outstanding Visual Effects -Joe Letteri, Stephen Rosenbaum, Richard Baneham, Andrew R. Jones for "Avatar" (4th academy award and 5th nomination for Joe Letteri, 2nd Oscar win and 2nd nomination for Stephen Rosenbaum, 1st academy award & nomination for Richard Baneham, 1st Oscar win and 2nd nomination for Andrew R. Jones)

Best Documentary Feature - Louie Psihoyos, Fisher Stevens for "The Cove" (1st academy and nomination)

Best Film Editing - Bob Murawski & Chris Innis for "The Hurt Locker" (1st academy award and nomination)

Best Foreign Language Film - "The Secret In Their Eyes" (El Secreto De Sus Ojos) (2nd academy award & 6th nomination for Argentina)

Best Performance by an Actor In A Leading Role - Jeff Bridges for "Crazy Heart" (1st academy award and 5th nomination)

Best Performance by an Actress In A Leading Role - Sandra Bullock for "The Blind Side" (1st academy award & nomination)

Best Director - Kathryn Bigelow for "The Hurt Locker" (1st academy award and nomination)

Best Picture - THE HURT LOCKER

***A SPECIAL CONGRATS TO***

*MONIQUE FOR HER BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS WIN (TALENT OVER POLITICS, INDEED)

*KATHRYN BIGELOW FOR BEING THE FIRST FEMALE DIRECTOR TO WIN AN OSCAR

*THE HURT LOCKER FOR 6 ACADEMY AWARD WINS

ART PIECE OF THE WEEK

2010-02-15T22:14:00.001-05:00

Sanctuary by William De Bilzan

PEACE OF MIND

2010-02-05T10:39:00.006-05:00

Peace of mind is about finding the serenity to accept the things that can't be changed, changing the things that can and having the wisdom to know the difference.

It's an essential survival tool - that silent switch that eventually turns on when we've had enough of life's bullshit combined with the mess we create.

It's about throwing the proverbial trash out: the trash that overflows our minds and spills over into every empty space available to clutter and stink up the joint.

Having peace of mind is important to the well being of the present as well as the future.

GIRL ART by Brianna McCarthy

2010-01-20T16:15:00.018-05:00

Two Curious Creatures

Every once in a while, if I'm lucky enough, I stumble upon a special type of artistic and fluid creativity that changes me from within. The type of creative energy that flows effortlessly from the artists' mind straight into the viewer's heart.

I came across Brianna's blog a few weeks ago while aimlessly looking through someone else's blog. I was immediately intrigued by the titled link - passion fruit. It's one of my favorite fruits!! Imagine my pleasant surprise when I clicked on the link and discovered the priceless gem that is Brianna McCarthy's art.

*She paints colorful girls, all with their own special and beautiful stories to tell.

I'm truly honoured to feature her paintings throughout my blogs.

Enchanted I am by ELLA'S bohemian beauty, madly in love is me with LILITH, willingly I go into EULALIE'S dream and blindly I'm drawn to FAITH.

FAITH

EULALIE

DETAIL OF LILITH

http://www.briannamccarthy.blogspot.com

Art is the desire of a man to express himself, to record the reactions of his personality to the world he lives in - Amy Lowell (1874 - 1925)

THE 67TH ANNUAL GOLDEN GLOBE WINNERS

2010-01-17T23:02:00.006-05:00

"TELEVISION IS AMAZING RIGHT NOW. MY Tivo IS BURNED OUT!" - Mad Men Creator & Executive Producer Matthew Weiner
And the Golden Globe Goes To...

Best Supporting Actress/Motion Picture & first win of the night- Mo'Nique for Precious (1st GG win)

Best Actress in TV/Series/Comedy- Toni Collette for *United States of Tara (1st GG win)

Best Supporting Actor in a TV Series/Mini Series or TV Movie- John Lithgow for Dexter (2nd GG win)

Best Animated Feature Film- Up

Best Actor in a TV Series Drama - Michael C. Hall for Dexter (1st GG win)

Best Actress in a TV Series Drama - Julianna Margulies for *The Good Wife (1st GG win)

Best Original Song/Motion Picture - The Weary Kind (Theme From Crazy Heart) Music & Lyrics by Ryan Bingham, T-Bone Burnett

Best Original Score/Motion Picture - Michael Giacchino "Up"

Best Mini Series/TV Movie - *Grey Gardens HBO

Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical - Meryl Streep for Julie & Julia

Best Actor in a Mini Series or TV Movie - Kevin Bacon for Taking Chances (1st GG win)

Best Actress in a Mini Series or TV Movie - Drew Barrymore for Grey Gardens (1st GG win)

Best Screenplay/Motion Picture - Jason Reitman, Sheldon Turner for Up In The Air

Best Actor in a TV Series, Comedy or Musical - Alec Baldwin for 30 Rock

Best Foreign Language Film - The White Ribbon (Germany)

Best TV Series/Drama - *Mad Men (AMC)

Best Supporting Actress in a TV Series, Mini Series or TV Movie - Chloe Sevigny for *Big Love (1st GG win)

Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture - Christoph Waltz for Inglorious Bastards

Best Director Motion Picture - James Cameron for Avatar

Best TV Series, Comedy or Musical - *Glee

Best Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical - The Hangover

Best Actress in a Motion Picture Drama - Sandra Bullock for The Blind Side (1st GG win)

Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical - Robert Downey Jr. for Sherlock Holmes

Best Actor in a Motion Picture Drama - Jeff Bridges for Crazy Heart

Best Motion Picture - Avatar

Congrats to all the Golden Globe Winners and Thank You for Bringing to Life Great Cinema!!

"MOVIES ARE THE MEMORIES OF OUR LIFETIME. WE NEED TO KEEP THEM ALIVE."

-MARTIN SCORSESE

A WOMAN'S ANTHEM

2010-01-17T18:58:00.005-05:00

"WEARY"

This woman is growing weary
Of having to be so strong
Of having to pretend I’m made of stone
So I won’t end up with no broken bones
I can’t fight every battle alone

I want someone to lift me
Heal my wounds and give me kisses on my head
Say words that should be said
Fear is not the matter
I would so much rather open up my heart
And lay down my guard

Chorus:
If I could trust someone
To have my back and never do me wrong
Then I would give my love up
Just like that stop singing this soldier song

Whomever said love was overrated
must not be getting’ none
my independent days have had their fun
but when the parties over
and the workin’ day is done
I just want to come home to someone

I want a love to take me
As I am not make me compromise myself
Or be like no one else
Fear is not the matter
I would so much rather open up my heart
And just lay down my guard

Chorus:
If I could trust someone
To have my back and never do me wrong
Then I would give my love up
Just like that stop singing this soldier song

LYRICS BY AMEL LARRIEUX

FOREVER YOUNG

2010-01-14T17:33:00.004-05:00

"You're still young" is a popular phrase that's lately been echoing from the mouths of wise kings and queens. Those same words are usually followed up by "so u still have time to do this, you can finish that, you can be what you want, you can play the field and be smart, you can chase your dreams." The list goes on and on.

It is, however, something worth thinking about beyond the realm of myopic thought.

I AM still young and I have an entire decade to mold and artistically shape the rest of my future the way I see it in my mind's eye; the way it was written in the good book.

It's as if a priceless jewel of knowledge has been dropped in the palm of my hand by those who walked before me: those with regrets or fond memories of what used to be when life was tender.

Time has an incredible way of shaping minds and building lives, passing by and creating rhymes.

So I'm taking heed to the voices outside my head, making it count and meticulously crafting a way for the next mind to grab the reigns and trail ahead with clear vision.

No longer can I bask inside the warm well of time.

STANDARDS & REQUIREMENTS

2010-01-05T18:10:00.004-05:00

I recently went out to support a friends' event and ended up meeting a tall dark and handsome stranger. I love it when you have no idea, no expectations or no clue what the night ahead shall bring and it ends up producing a fantastic time with someone you didn't know existed two hours before.

From the minute he sat at our table and was introduced to my sister and I by a mutual friend, I was taken aback. I didn't know anyone else was joining us, let alone someone that looked like him. I knew immediately what my sister was thinking, perhaps because I was thinking the same exact thing, "Well well well, what do we have here?" And so it was. He joined our party and the night became memorable. We chatted, overindulged in $5 drinks, danced, laughed and chemistry was born.

By the end of the night as we walked to the car I felt comfortable in his presence, well, as comfortable as one can get in a couple of hours. And as I stood outside in the cold getting ready to say goodbye he repeated a question he'd asked me earlier, "What do you require?" I was slightly caught off guard the first time he asked and told him I would have an answer for him at a later date. So I was pleasantly surprised when he brought it up again. No man had ever asked me that question and we'd only met six hours before so I was moved and a bit flustered by his need to know.

Fast forward a few days later -
Since that night I started giving more thought as what it is I really require in a man, what my standards are and what they mean to me. I remember reading Steve Harvey's book, "Act Like A Lady, Think Like a Man" a few months back and he talked about the fact that women don't voice their standards and requirements yet expect men to act accordingly. The goal isn't to blabber on about what you don't like or can't stand or won't tolerate because it comes across as angry, bitter and resentful. Instead, "wrap up your requirements in a pretty bow" as Steve so eloquently puts it. The idea is to put out what it is you require in order to know whether or not this man or woman is worth your time and effort. And oh yes, make sure your requirements and standards are set high.

So I thought about what I told him, which by the way was, "I require a man with a kind heart, a good person, someone who understands what it is he has in me, a passionate man". In hindsight, I left out a lot of other important things like, "A dedicated man, a faithful and honest partnership, open communication, to be courted and treated like a lady and to be appreciated".

I will admit that I've given myself a little grief for leaving out the latter requirements but I suppose it's just as well that I didn't go off on a tangent the first night we met, at least now there's something to look forward to should anything worthy materialize.

Artwork by Jill Calder/ 2008

HARAMBEE CHILDREN'S PROJECT

2010-01-03T13:48:00.007-05:00

HCP is a non profit organization dedicated to the present and future well being and empowerment of abandoned and orphaned children in Kenya through emotional, educational and spiritual guidance.

Harambee Children's Project is pleased to announce that 97 orphans have been placed in 17 different schools in the Murang'a school district in Kenya and one university student excelled all the way to #1 in the entire district. This student was also admitted to Nairobi University. HCP currently has 300+ orphans on the waiting list to attend school.

HCP's goal as they continue to place orphan's in different learning institutions is to build and establish a school that will parallel academic, health, vocational and spiritual growth; a facility that will serve as a beacon of light and hope in the community.

HCP is thankful for the funding that has helped to pay for its students in boarding schools; provide accomodations and nurture the students during school breaks and they encourage more people to help and be a part of something positive and life changing.

For more HCP information and how to contribute and help change a child's life- send inquiries to kenyaimpex@yahoo.com

To stay updated on facebook, plse visit facebook.com/njeri5

Be a resource for Kenya!

Harambee Children's Project
http://www.harambeechildrensproject.org

Happy New Year!!!!

2010-01-01T00:03:00.000-05:00

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

2009: THANK YOU & GOODBYE

2009-12-31T09:10:00.004-05:00

The past year brought about a lot of change, not only in America, but also in my own personal world. As the year comes to a close I feel like a proper thank you and goodbye is in order. It's been a strong year; the year of the phoenix slowly rising out of the ashes and towards the sky.

Change has been constant in every aspect of the past 365 days: I moved to a new state, left behind one career to pursue my passion in another, let go of the past and things I couldn't change, realized my strengths, became more self-aware, started a blog or two, made a few youtube videos, got published, performed at my first open mic, explored my creative talents, made some great new friends, got my heart broken, became a better cook, gained some weight, got even closer to my mom and sister, said good-bye to my grandmother Josephine, met Raymond Chepkwony, left behind the age of innocence and turned 30. Whew...I'm still spinning.

I am extremely thankful for 2009 and look forward to what the new year holds in store!!!

MAJOR 09 HEADLINES

2009-12-31T08:17:00.003-05:00

Barack Obama became the first African American Commander-in-Chief
Healthcare Reform
Swine Flu Outbreak/H1N1 Vaccine
Airplane lands safely in the Hudson River
Michael Jackson dies from an overdose of Propofol
Fort Hood Shootings
US Vessel taken hostage by Somali pirates
South Carolina Wildfires
Unemployment rate plummets
Dow closed below 7,000 for the first time since 1997
Recession Blues
The End of Bernie Madoff (150 years in jail)
First Hispanic Justice: Judge Sonia Sotomayor
30,000 troops deployed to Afghanistan
American student Amanda Knox found guilty by Italian court for murder of roommate
Jaycee Lee Dugard found alive after 18 years

In Memoriam:
Michael Jackson 1958-2009
Walter Cronkite 1916-2009
Ted Kennedy 1932-2009
Ed McMahon 1923-2009
Bea Arthur 1922-2009
Natasha Richardson 1963-2009
Farrah Fawcett 1947-2009
Patrick Swayze 1952-2009

Unbelievable Moments:
Balloon Boy Hoax
Octuplet Mom
John & Kate Divorce
Chris Brown charged with assaulting Rhianna
South Carolina Governor is MIA for a week: Later comes out that he was with his mistress in Argentina
David Letterman publicly admits to having had sex with women that work for him on his show
Tiger Woods Cheating Scandal
Susan Boyle gets discovered on Britains Got Talent
Kanye West's outburst at the VMA's
The Salahis o.k.a The White House Crashers
Sarah Palin Goes Rogue
Oprah announces end of season and start of OWN
Chris Allen wins American Idol

Sauti Sol for President!!

2009-12-30T14:51:00.003-05:00

I am officially a Sauti Sol fan!! I'd heard the name before but it wasn't until today that I went on youtube and did some investigating of my own (thanks to Ray Chepkwony). Imagine my surprise when I pressed play and heard their soulful voices. I would love to see them live one day! I forsee a trip to the nation's capital for a live performance...wishful thinking!! Or better yet, I'm way overdue for a trip back home (Kenya) so maybe I'll catch you guys there...

You guys are amazing!!

ELLEN vs. RAYMOND - s[HE] be[LI]ev[ED]!

2009-12-29T18:37:00.010-05:00

You know the drill, this is round two of Ellen & Raymond's battle of the sexes: the male vs female perspective on random topics. Join the war!

“Now I don't have to question
Where you were last night
Cause I already know what you will say
I already know you lie
But I can't be mad at ya
Cause there's something that you don't know
That when you're gone, I do my own thing
And I catch a bone while you're doggin' me

When you're out in the club, don't think I'm not
Even when you're out makin' love, don't think I'm not
When you're feelin' good in somebody's spot
Gettin' hot, don't stop
Just don't think I'm not
Cause I'm out gettin' mine”

Kandi- Don’t Think I’m Not.

READY....SET....GO....
A friend of mine recently called me for a chat. I could feel the pain in her voice so I asked her to meet up. Turns out she was distraught after finding out that her boyfriend has been having something on the side. She wondered why he lied to her and why she believed the sweet nothings time and time again! Obviously I had to tell her the “truth”-my version of it anyway- just to sooth her obviously broken heart. And yes I was looking for an angle to “hit that” because let’s face it; there’s no easier mama to shag than one who is suffering from a broken heart: the fresher, the easier and the better. http://raymondchepkwony.wordpress.com

Wow…I’m still trying to get over “the fresher, the easier and the better” statement. Your cold and heartless ways never cease to amaze me. You’re such a man! You mean to tell me you would’ve hit that had she been willing knowing good and well that the poor girl is suffering from a full blown case of broken heart syndrome? I guess that’s the Ray Chekwony way to “sooth” a broken heart, huh? Let me tell her my version of the truth and then try to hit it for the sake of a quick nut that may not even be worth it. Good job Ray! You’re mother would be so proud. If more men knew how to be friends with women instead of having ulterior motives I think our melting pot would be a more festive soup bowl. My heart goes out to this girl because a broken heart is not exactly easy to mend. But the heart is resilient and it will get better again. P.S. – do try and stay away from Raymond. http://vent09.blogspot.com

I had to ask myself the question, “Why do men have the urge to be unfaithful?” Even worse is that they will cheat on a drop dead gorgeous woman with some mama you’d not look at twice! The more I thought about it, the clearer the answers became! Two answers popped into my mind and yes... I had one of those “Eureka” moments only that I didn’t run across the street stark naked, but trust me, I almost did.

1- The Gene Pool Effect.
Men have it coded in their D(EOXYRIBO)N(UCLEIC) A(CID) (DNA(dē'ĕn-ā'} to cheat. Yes, some guys may claim sainthood and say they’ve been loyal to the same woman for the last thirty years, and to such claims I say “Yeah Right!” Their lying asses have just never been caught in the act. They are the smart ones: always kept their stories straight and their office network poor especially in the evenings! People, men are wired to want to fornicate with more than one woman at any given time period. Granted, we can stay faithful for say one year... after that, well...the gene pool effect swings into action! It’s our way at cursing Eve for getting us kicked out of Heaven. Our troubles can be attributed to Eve’s mischievous nature. So ladies, every time you discover your man has been with someone else, please don’t bash his head in because he is nothing more than an innocent bystander in the struggle! He is powerless against the forces of science! It’s in the DNA! I can’t emphasize that enough! http://raymondchepkwony.wordpress.com

Hmm, now science is to blame for cheating men? I’m almost (not quite) inclined to agree. There is SOME truth to it…men ARE wired “differently”. I think men are captivated by the feel and taste of new a** and will go to great lengths to acquire something new just for the smell of it! No matter what the dude has at home or across town, the prospect of sleeping with someone new takes over both brains and liquify’s whatever’s left. Awww…you can stay faithful for one year? How lucky we are to get 12 months of honesty out of you. I’m a little impressed because that actually means you made some sort of effort. I have yet to find a man that can logically explain why men cheat when the home front is happy. I’ve seen and heard obvious reasons why men cheat: she's not giving up any at home, she’s gained some weight, not a good cook or lover, we're not getting along or whatever the case might be. What I'm trying to figure out is when things ARE good at home and men still cheat....what is the cause? How typical that you blame Eve for your troubles yet Adam had a brain of his own but decided to bite the apple against his better judgement. Therein lies the problem ladies and gentlemen…men don’t think about the repercussions; instead they act out of the need for instant gratification and satisfaction. So ladies, any time you discover your man has been with someone else, please don’t hesitate to bash his head in and rip the damn DNA out! Ok, ok, so maybe don’t bash his head in cuz I wouldn’t want to condone violence but feel free to tear him a new one as well as re-wire the DNA and never look back. http://vent09.blogspot.com

2- The “Good Men” are hard to find effect...
FACT is that good and decent men have been hunted down to extinction. And who are the causes of this extinct species? WOMEN. You are your own worst enemies. Nowadays, when I go clubbing, I put on my wedding band and all I have to do is sit back and watch them come! The wedding band is an aphrodisiac. Forget Rhino horns and funny blends from “Mganga toka Tanzania”. Forget the magical effects of “Kamute”. The wedding band works miracles. Women are on the prowl for a good man. So much so that if the good man is already taken, you will do all you can to muscle your way in! You are willing to slug it out! In the meantime, there’s a man disproving the Swahili elders who said...“Fahali wawili wakipigana, nyasi hu-umia”. As women engage in a slugfest and compete, one guy is reaping the benefits of it all. Who said you can’t have your bread buttered on all sides! http://raymondchepkwony.wordpress.com

So we blamed science initially and now we’re on to blaming women for the extinction of good and decent men? You’re on a roll! How about we blame it on the ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-alcohol being consumed inside the club for clouding our senses and making us do foolish things like put on wedding bands (when you’re clearly not married) and approaching married men in search of a “good” man. For starters, you’re in a club so the ideal pickings are slim and questionable. And for the record, you can’t put the chicks at the club in the same category with all women. All women don’t go after married men; just the ones who still haven’t a clue. So very sad. What’s even sadder is that you actually put on a wedding band and hit the club scene for some action. Poor guy. http://vent09.blogspot.com

As for why men lie like they do... well, the truth is that they don’t. Men speak what their minds always tell them to speak. Ladies, if you ask a man whose just gotten laid, if he’s cheating on you... the truth is that the functional brain at that moment is not the one that thinks when he’s at work! Try thinking lower... not his tummy low-unless you found him with mama mboga-...think under the belt low! That brain is still in control and that brain dictates what he says. So the correct answer is that he’s not cheating on you. In fact he wants some right about now! That sort of rational thinking is what the world needs! The reason a man gets caught out on his lies is when his normal mind takes over and insists on overruling the previous utterances of the lower brain! That’s when he does something foolish like call you someone else’s name while in bed. The tug and tussle between the brains is one that can’t end well. Guys, when having sex... KEEP QUIET! Do no utter a word! That’s how you end up saying “Scolastica” instead of “Monica”. http://raymondchepkwony.wordpress.com

The world needs men to think with their lower brains? That’s frightening! Men lie like they do because they’re idiots and the idea of considering someone else’s feelings is way too far fetched for them to comprehend and act accordingly. Or better yet, just don’t cheat. Have the balls to get out of the relationships and then go and bone as many chicks as you please. Why string one woman along with endless lies and empty promises? Just cut her loose!! She’ll get over it with time. Lying is so over-rated. A woman will respect you more if you man’d up and told her the truth. You never know, she may still want to stay and engage in an open relationship. My point is – give women a choice. It’s not cool to insult our intelligence with this normal and lower brain bullshit...and to be honest that is why it “never ends well”. Tell it like it is and give us the choice to stay or pack our bags. 9 out of ten, we’re packing our bags! http://vent09.blogspot.com

ABOUT:

Ellen Wanjiru-(http://vent09.blogspot.com)
Ellen lives and works in the Washington, DC area as a freelance writer. Her wordings on diverse topics make for a great read and showcase her versatility as a creative writer. Add her as a friend on Facebook.com/Ewrita and follow her on twitter.com/Ewrita. Apart from vent09.blogspot.com, Ellen also writes poetry @ http://thoughtsinblu.blogspot.com

Raymond Chepkwony-(http://raymondchepkwony.wordpress.com)
Raymond is Kenyan and has taken to humor writing. Though he sometimes delves on to the murky world of politics, his main forte is relationships-though he's taken to female bashing! Add Raymond as a friend on Facebook- Ray Chepkwony and follow him on twitter @chepkwonyr

US WRITER'S NEED TO STICK TOGETHER!

2009-12-27T11:58:00.002-05:00

That's what I said to a fellow writer a couple of days ago.

TO ONE AND ALL....

2009-12-25T09:42:00.001-05:00

From home to home, and heart to heart, from one place to another. The warmth and joy of Christmas brings us closer to each other.
-Emily Matthews

BIRTH-DAY

2009-12-23T02:40:00.008-05:00

Is celebrating the birth of my life today.
I feel good. I feel present.
I am glad to be alive.
Gone is the age of innocence;
Present is the era of womanhood
As I clutch my pearls and listen to the beat of a new sound
I can see clearer now the face of hidden clouds
Hear me roar;
Look at me go after the red string of golden dreams

ABORTION QUESTIONNAIRE: INVASION OF PRIVACY?

2009-12-19T19:38:00.003-05:00

Brand new law in Oklahoma requires doctors who perform abortions to ask patients more than 3 dozen personal questions - the answers then can posted on the internet. The law hasn't taken effect, whether it ever does will be the subject of a court hearing currently taking place.

State Senator Todd Lamb, who helped draft that law, says the goal is education not humiliation.

Jennifer Mondino, Staff Attorney for The Center for Reproductive Rights says the law is an outrageous invasion of privacy.

Below are just some of the questions women have to check-off when seeking an abortion in Oklahoma:

Having a baby:

Would dramatically change the life of the mother;

Would interfere with the education of the mother;

Would interfere with the job/employment/career of the mother.

Among these questions, women are also asked about rape, incest, abuse, relationship problems, emotional health...37 questions in total!!

Per Todd Lamb, the purpose of this bill is to get more hardcore facts and evidence on why women are pursing the path of abortion. He also stated that nothing in this bill will violate the identification of the women seeking the abortion.

SAME SEX MARRIAGE LEGAL IN DC

2009-12-18T12:02:00.003-05:00

Just in.....DC Mayor Adrian Fenty signed into law the legislation that legalizes gay marriage in the nation's capital. The bill also requires the district to recognize gay marriages from other states. The measure still needs congressional approval. The vote was 11 to 2.

PENS & PENMANSHIP

2009-12-17T20:48:00.007-05:00

I'm a stickler for a good pen. My absolute favorite is the pilot easy touch pen. I can't live without it! I love that It has a great grip, a fine tip and a smooth finish, and it looks official. I find it difficult to write with anything else!

A good pen enables great penmanship. One can tell a lot about a person's handwriting. I remember in high school I envied two of my classmates handwriting. Each for different reasons.

Cassandra Pough was a sweet and easy to get along with kind of girl, extremely smart and dedicated. She had a gentle voice but could get sassy if need be. Her handwriting was a smooth example of the type of person she was, very meticulous and effortless down to the loops in her L's, lower case e's and f's. She stayed right above the lines with a perfect slant and pressed down hard enough on the loose leaf that it would leave an imprint on the back of the paper, which I loved! It was almost like reading Braille, you could feel for the words. And to some degree, unbeknownst to her, she created that option - to feel the words.

Alexia Lotts had a very strong personality. Everything she did was strong. She had a commanding presence without trying too hard and always seemed in control. She was cool and fun to be around. Her handwriting told the same story. Very in control with her penmanship, down to how she held her pen. Neat and straight, stayed in between the lines and moved fluidly. I tried emulating her handwriting on numerous occasions and she would just laugh at my silly obsession not really understanding why it mattered to me.

My father and sister also play a big role in my obsessive love affair with penmanship. When I was little, my dad would make me write over and over until he was satisfied with my handwriting. It frustrated the hell out of me then, but I understand now why he made me do it. I love the way he writes. It's perfect and controlled, smooth and full of life. My sisters handwriting, much like our dad, is also perfect! It is because of her that I write my W's the way I do today!

BROKEN HEARTED & IT HURTS SO GOOD

2009-12-16T17:37:00.012-05:00

What causes a broken heart? Is it rejection? Is it the end of a relationship you thought would last forever? Is it being hurt by someone you thought loved you enough not to hurt you? Or is it the fact that someone you love doesn't love you back? I'm guessing it's all the above and more.

At some point in our lives, we've all suffered from a broken heart. Some more severe than others. I've certainly been on both ends of the spectrum: I've broken some hearts and I've had mine broken as well. If I go way back in my mental rolodex starting from grammar school, I can certainly pinpoint unforgettable moments when I felt heart broken and completely crushed over someone I really liked or loved.

I had the biggest crush on a boy called Marcus in grammar school and when I say big I mean HUGE (everyone from students to teachers knew how I felt). The crush lasted throughout grammar school until I left for high school. As much as I tried and showed my affection, he just wasn't into me..lol. That was my first experience with heart break. Then came high school.

I was madly in love with a boy called Fred who had beautiful hazel green eyes and was a total sweetheart. That crush lasted for almost three years. We finally dated but I ended up kissing another boy and he dropped me like a hot potato. The My Life cd by Mary J Blige played a monumental role during this era. I still think of him when I listen to the album. After high school came college.

I met what one would call the perfect guy. His name was David. He was tall, handsome, played basketball and was a junior (I was a freshman when we met). He was my college sweetheart. He loved me with every fiber of his being. Yet, with time I felt smothered by his love (WTF is that about?). Somewhere in my naive and twisted mind I eventually managed to push the greatest boyfriend I've ever had away. I was beyond heart broken when it ended.

It's safe to say there is no age limit when it comes to affairs of the heart. You feel what you feel, be it love or pain.

What's interesting is how people choose to deal with break-ups. Some use food to comfort their sorrows, while others chose not to eat at all. I've experienced the latter. My process consists of locking myself indoors with my favorite bottle of wine while listening to sad love songs and watching sad and romantic movies. Knowing that someone somewhere can relate makes me feel less broken, which is so twisted because you're basically feeding off of someone else's heart break to make yourself feel better. Hey, whatever works I guess!

On the flip side, thy heart is resilient. And through all the beatings it endures, somehow it's always open to love again.

*On a totally unrelated note- Jane Seymour's diamond open heart necklace collection is really amazing!!

*DISCLAIMER- I am in no way, shape or form suffering from a broken heart at this moment.

GRAND STATEMENT

2009-12-15T15:48:00.002-05:00

I have no desire to make windows into men’s soul- Queen Elizabeth

ART PIECE OF THE WEEK

2009-12-14T17:25:00.005-05:00

Now Listen Hea' by Maurice Evans

ELLENORE SCOTT & JAKOB KARR

2009-12-08T16:21:00.010-05:00

I am a major fan of So You Think You Can Dance (ABC) and have been from the very start. I watch this show faithfully and have been moved to tears on several occasions. I am a patron of any ART form and will forever be grateful to this show and others like it for providing an outlet for talented yet unknown (soon to be discovered) dancers to express their art through dance.

Ellenore Scott & Jakob Karr are both incredibly gifted and passionate dancers, which is why they made it all the way to the top 5 this season. Both Ellenore and Jakob were able to bring the OONA & Dave Tweedie song (Tore My Heart) to life and portray the story through movement, which is not an easy feat. Their commitment to the piece was what moved me the most; how they lost themselves inside the dance and became the music. I love that!! It completely blew me away.

Their dance piece was choreographed by none other than the outstanding Sonya Tayeh. Kudos to OONA & Dave Tweedie for one of the most amazing songs ever!!!

ELLEN VS. RAYMOND - I DECLARE WAR

2009-12-03T04:21:00.004-05:00

I recently met a guy...not just any guy...but a character of sorts who lives on the other side of the world and whom I've never met. He's a writer-so by default we are kindred spirits. He'll make you laugh, he'll get you mad and may even leave you perplexed, but more importantly....you'll remember Raymond Chepkwony. http://raymondchepkwony.wordpress.com

To make a long story short we decided to virtually come together (sort of like a war of the minds) and go blow for blow on both our blogs. The idea is to select random controversial topics and give the male vs female perspective with no holds barred.

THIS IS ROUND 1

“[Rihanna:]
Sad and it’s not fair how you take advantage of the fact that I
Love you beyond the reason why
And it just ain’t right

[Ne-Yo:]
And I hate how much I love you girl
I can’t stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you girl
But I just can’t let you go
But I hate that I love you so

[Both:]
One of these days maybe your magic won’t affect me
And your kiss won’t make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you’ll probably always have a spell on me…”

Hate That I Love You- Rihanna Feat. Ne-Yo

For far too long, women have mistaken the influence of the “boy’s club” as a negative dent to their love lives. Its always been easy for women to pick on the boys as an explanation for all that is going wrong in their twisted little romance of a life they call a marriage. Women, why do you have to place the blame for your hubby or boyfriend going astray on the boys? Something I also wonder about... why do women normally pick on one of the boys and blame him for all that is going wrong in their lives? If your husband has a liking for young girls, then how is his pal to blame for that? If your hubby has a stray gene hard coded in his DNA, why take it out on the boys with claims that they are leading him astray? You probably took him from the arms of another woman and now you have the audacity to claim that he was loyal and loving before he started hanging out with the boys! You, my dear, forget that he has been hanging out with the same set of fellows for the last ten years and you only came into the picture recently. http://raymondchepkwony.wordpress.com

9 out of 10 “the boys” are single and still think the boyish/player mentality is cool and should be bragged about. What’s not cool is the influence it has on the poor married guy that has to go back home to the slightly overweight wife in a smelly headscarf, pink robe and fluffy slippers while “the boys” return to the random hot chick of the night wearing the sexy black lingerie. That whole grass is greener on the other side comes into play because the boys flaunt their freedom and independence and make fun of the shackled-down guy instead of respecting his union and understanding how weak their fellow man is! And for the record, we don’t blame one of the boys for ALL that is going wrong in our lives, just ALL that is wrong with our hubby or boyfriend on account of his loser friend. His pal probably introduced him to the young girl and insisted he hook up with her just once for the hell of it. As far as that stray gene goes…we girls can straighten it out…but it’s difficult when “the boys” keep pulling him in the opposite direction. Chances are- he probably needs a new set of mature fellows. And that 1% left is probably the one other married guy whose life is just as miserable…and you know how that saying goes…misery loves company.

Recently, I was at my local watering hole... and I was surprised by a group of women who were having their infamous “chama” in the local pub! What ever happened to the boys meeting in the bar-as it’s supposed to be- and the women having their chamas in the house and eating mandazis? I long for the days I would be kicked out of the house because my Mum had chama... I knew there would be a never-ending supply of spiced up food and mandazis.. My son will apparently now grow up never knowing when his Mum has chama in the house. Ladies... please take your chama away from the local. You are infringing on my right to have a quiet “me time with the boys”. http://raymondchepkwony.wordpress.com

Basically what you’re saying is for the ladies to stay the hell out of your pub so you and the rascals can gather together and eat chama and most likely talk about us….insanity! You do realize that it’s 2009 and not the stone ages, right? I think those days that you long for when you would be kicked out of the house had an adverse effect and most likely left a tiny dent on your head because surely you don’t expect us to quietly walk away and stop infringing on your bullshit “me time” right. We need quiet “me time” too and this can be achieved under one pub…you and the boys can sit on one side of the room and me and my fly girls will be on the other side. Besides, girls make the scene livelier!!!

Ladies, you establishing your very “girls night” stinks of angry women with nothing to do than sit around a bar, engage in a night of male bashing, and then gossip about whoever amongst you is not there that day! Why is there a need for women to try and be equal with men? Am I the only one who thinks that the modern day woman has lost her place? Next time you are with these so- called “girls” ask yourself... what would mum do. If that doesn’t get your behind in the kitchen waiting for your philandering husband... then you have childhood issues you need to sort out! http://raymondchepkwony.wordpress.com

I think all of the hanging out with the boys has knocked your senses out of wack! The only thing that stinks is coming from your stench of bitterness and denial over the fact that girls rule and boys drool. Yes, you read correctly-Girls Rule! I’m sorry to tell you my friend…you are the only Neanderthal that thinks the modern day woman has lost her place. What would mum do? Who cares, we’re not our mothers! We’re liberated, carefree, hardworking women who deserve to sit around a bar and engage in any and everything our hearts desire. Tell me, what is it that boys do when they sit around a bar? Do they not female bash, drink beers, compare conquests, and then bossip (the male term for gossip)? The only thing that’s going to get me in the kitchen is a non-philandering husband who treats me equally and shows the same respect he requires.

Guys and girls will forever have their friends... The key to a lasting relationship probably lies in respecting each others space and respecting each others friends. We will always have "crews" and we will always have friends... Good or bad. To all those considered "bad company" by wives or husbands, I say..live and enjoy the tag. For you will always be one they LOVE TO HATE!

*ABOUT:

Raymond Chepkwony-(http://raymondchepkwony.wordpress.com)
Raymond is Kenyan and has taken to humor writing. Though he sometimes delves on to the murky world of politics, his main forte is relationships-though he's taken to female bashing! Add Raymond as a friend on Facebook- Ray Chepkwony and follow him on twitter @chepkwonyr

STAY TUNED FOR MORE!

OPRAH.COM/FORALLWOMEN

2009-12-01T17:13:00.003-05:00

FOR ALL WOMEN REGISTRY

SUPPORT A MOM
Becoming a mom should be one of the most joyous events in a woman's life—but in many parts of the world getting pregnant is the most dangerous thing a woman can do. In fact, a woman dies from pregnancy and labor every minute—the equivalent of five jumbo jets of women dying every day. See what you can do to help end maternal mortality.

$5: Midwife Kit
You can provide one midwife with the kit she needs to perform a safe, normal delivery. Every minute, a woman dies due to complications from pregnancy and childbirth. Without the proper equipment, midwives cannot adequately handle the problems that can arise during and shortly after delivery.

$9.04: Hygiene Kit
The kit contains soap, a washcloth, sanitary napkins, nail clippers, toothpaste and a toothbrush. The contents are intended for two individuals for one month.

$10: Health Services for a Mother and Her Baby
Deliver health services to one mother and her baby, including prenatal and postnatal care, routine checkups, immunizations and safe delivery services.

$32.22: Surgical Examination Kit
This kit, for use by midwives and other trained medical personnel, is designed to improve maternal and neonatal care in development and emergency situations. It contains surgical instruments for examining women, suturing cervical and vaginal tears, etc.

$65: Caesarean Section Kit
You can provide one medical officer the kit she needs to perform a Caesarean section. While traditional birth attendants can make sure that a clean delivery is performed, they often lack the tools and skills to perform a Caesarean section, stop heavy bleeding and other procedures that can mean the life or death for the mother and her baby.

$190: Tricycle Ambulance Service
You can provide transportation that will bring high-risk, expectant mothers from rural areas to hospitals for quality care, improving the chances that she and her child will survive. A woman can bleed to death in two hours after delivery—not enough time for a family member to get help or transport her to the hospital.

$410: Medical Training
Deliver babies into capable hands. Your donation can train a local doctor, nurse or midwife to provide healthcare to expectant mothers, improving the chances that she and her child will survive childbirth.

HELP RAPE VICTIMS
Rape is used as a weapon of war to destroy a woman's life all around the world. In some areas, women who have been raped are seen as unfit to marry or become outcasts, struggling to survive. See what a difference you can make in the life of a rape survivor.
$10: Vocational Training for Victims
Provide vocational counseling and training to the survivor for a week while she's in the hospital. She will learn new skills to support herself when she goes home, as she may not be able to do the heavy agricultural work she did before. She may not even know what is possible. This is a first step in the process of restoration and healing.

$10: HIV Testing
Provide HIV tests for five victims of violence. Rape is a weapon of the war in Congo, with many of the armed groups using the threat of HIV in addition to the destruction of rape. Testing and counseling for victims of rape is an important step to emotional healing.

$10: Education During Treatment
She may never have had the opportunity to attend school. This gives her the chance to learn to read, write and do basic math. It will enable her to return to her village with an accomplishment and dignity. Sometimes victims of violence are children. They, too, can attend school at the hospital if they’re there for awhile.

$15: Provide a Safe House
Keep a safe house open for a day, a place for women who've been raped to get counseling and referral to appropriate treatment. The counselors know how to help, and there's a place to sleep. This is important because there are no motels, and it's not safe to sleep by the side of the road.

$15: Hospital Care
Provide ten days of hospital stay for a victim of rape. It may take weeks or months for her recovery.

$15: Provide a Counselor
Provide 10 days of a counselor's salary. Counselors are the cornerstone of the network of safety for women who have been raped or are victims of violence. They accompany a woman through the process, and continue to provide follow-up when the woman returns home.

$27: Sponsor a Rape Victim
For a total of $354 a year ($27 a month plus a one-time $30 registration fee), you can help a victim of rape and violence rebuild her life and family. A woman can restore her support network, receive trauma counseling and gain skills to help her get back on her feet. Develop a one-to-one relationship, sharing your lives through letters and pictures.

$100: Fresh Start Kit
This provides small-business training and skills and provides the equipment they need to go back to the village and begin to support themselves. It may be a sewing machine, or money for small trade capital, or a goat or small livestock. The woman is involved in all aspects of the choices she makes for her own future.

SAVE A SLAVE
At the peak of the transatlantic slave trade, 80,000 slaves were transported from Africa to the new world. Today, more than 10 times as many women are being forced into brothels or other forms of slavery. Find out what you can do to help an enslaved woman find freedom.
$10: Psychological Counseling
You can provide one month of psychological counseling and rehabilitation to a girl at a shelter in Southeast Asia. Your donation will provide the support survivors need to embark on the long and painful journey.

$20: Adult Education
You can provide one month of adult education for a woman in prostitution, transcending formal education. It also includes training women on opening and operating bank accounts and forming small economic and social cooperatives.

$30: Medical Exam and HIV Testing
Give the gift of health. You can provide an HIV test and medical exam for girls rescued from sexual slavery in Southeast Asia. Thirty percent of girls received at the shelter from brothels are HIV positive.

$30: Keep a Woman Safe
You can provide one month of support to help keep rescued girls safe. Shelters are under constant threat from the organized crime syndicates that run the brothels and pimps who wish to harm and re-enslave rescued girls. This covers a shelter's security fees for one month per girl, allowing girls to rebuild their strength in a secure, loving environment.

$40: Skill Training
You can provide a month of skill training—including self-defense and literacy—for an adolescent girl vulnerable to being trafficked. Help keep these girls away from sex predators.

$250: Legal Protection
You can provide a month of legal protection for a woman or child. In addition to legal counsel, women will also be trained on basic knowledge about their rights to defend themselves when confronted with violence or abuse.

I made my donation to help change the future...will you?

ART PIECE OF THE WEEK

2009-11-28T18:03:00.001-05:00

Sassified
by: Paul Goodnight

OWN: THE OPRAH WINFREY NETWORK

2009-11-24T22:40:00.005-05:00

Yup, it's official. Oprah is leaving behind her daytime gig of 25 years and coming back bigger and better with her own network. Her final season will be in September and her network tv channel will launch in January 2011.

NEW BREAST CANCER RECOMMENDATION

2009-11-18T17:20:00.004-05:00

This senstivie topic seems to be causing quite a stir and I can certainly understand why. All of a sudden annual check-ups are being frowned upon due to false scares and unneccessary exposure to radiation. Yet, these same check-ups and self-examinations have played a critical role in detecting lumps and saving lives. It's confusing.

Let's be clear - we're not being told to NOT give ourselves self-examinations, because let's face it, no one can tell us to stop feeling for lumps on our own breasts if that is what we choose to do. It sounds like we're being told to not overreact everytime we feel what we think may be a lump, not to scurry off to the doctor's office for a mammogram and subject ourselves to painful and uncomfortable radiation or costly biopsies. Correct me if I'm wrong- but when it comes to our health, should the first thing that comes to mind be the biopsy bill? Or is this just an early insurance company tactic put in place because they won't make any money on account of a "false alarm" should the future of healthcare take a positive turn?

Yes, I get the point of women panicking over what they think is a lump; but if I happen to feel something foreign while examining my breast in the shower you bet your bottom dollar I would be hightailing it to the doctor immediately. Let's face it, If I did have an actual lump then getting a mammogram and catching it at an early stage may save my life!

It's ridiculous, and the more I think about it the more it infuriates me that the USPSTF (U.S. Preventive Services Task Force) would recommend such a thing! What about the women who may have more aggressive types of cancer that NEED to be caught in an early stage? Wouldn't this type of cancer be the exact reason why screening needs to be done regularly and often instead of waiting until the age of 50? Did they think about this before releasing this controversial "recommendation?"

*Reports say that almost 80% of women get breast cancer over age 50 but 20% get it in their 40's. So is it being suggested that women less than 50 take a chance on those stats?

If the radiation is not hurting us then we would rather be safe than sorry and do the tests.

PORN POWER

2009-11-17T13:01:00.011-05:00

Sex/porn is a 10 billion dollar a year business! 10 billion! Clearly I'm in the wrong business.

1 out of 3 porn consumers are women-regular women.

There are 13 million online views of porn A MONTH and 70% keep it a secret.

30/40% of women make-up the porn market.

**I got these stats from today's Oprah show on Porn & Erotica**

Sounds like more women are comfortably watching porn on t.v., buying dvds and getting online to search the net for "porn." Interesting. Here I thought I was all alone :-)

Porn has, over the years, become a huge business; a job and/or career for hundreds of women. It is the most lucrative industry on earth. Shouting out "girl power" would be a tad bit premature, but it seems like the double standard is slowly being lifted. Is it safe to say that women are now dominating in the porn industry? Or is former pornstar Jenna Jameson the only porn queen who was able to break into the mainstream and meet those standards?

Here's a doozy for ya...women in the porn business make far more money than men and work less! How about that! It's really not that shocking if you think about it- men actually have to be good at what they do and by good I mean they would have to maintain an erection, pretend to be attracted to the not so hot chick as well as perform AND ejaculate on cue; whereas with women, it doesn't take all those tedious requirements. Porn starlett's can fake an orgasm and don't need as much time as their male couterparts to recoup for the next scene.

It's fascinating really...meeting someone for 15 minutes over a cup of coffee and a muffin and having sex on camera and infront of a room full of production crew members. Kinda sounds like art imitating life minus the crew members, well...unless you're into an audience.

SARAH PALIN: GOING ROGUE ON OPRAH

2009-11-16T18:13:00.009-05:00

I don't know about you all but I looked forward to the highly publicized and anticipated Oprah/Palin interview today, although I'm not entirely sure why. Maybe it was the hope that we would get to see a different side of the former VP candidate or maybe she would say something off the wall and remind us once again why the grand old party didn't win. Either way, I was tuned in and ready for the unexpected.

Instead, what I got was somewhat expected: Palin as she was during the election but more at ease in her skin. She's a regular lady with a quirky sense of humor, wears thigh bearing gym shorts to the store and goes to the gym for her morning workout, she makes candy apples for halloween and uses words like, "dang" and "cool."

Sarah Palin recently published her book,"Going Rogue: An American Life" coming out in stores tomorrow 11/17/09 and it's already a bestseller (kudos to her).

Whether I'll be running out to buy a copy is debatable, but I do wish her all the luck and success her heart desires!

The Oprah/Palin Conversation:

Palin talked about getting the phone call that changed her life. You know...the one asking whether she would like to be the United States VP candidate, and based on her explanation, it sounded like a random phone call was made and her number came up.

Oprah: What did it feel like standing on stage as an unknown the day McCain made the announcement?

Palin: Well, I thought McCain was brave. A true maverick who wanted to take a chance that empowered women.

Oprah: Had you been allowed to be more yourself during the election, do you think the race would've turned out differently?

Palin: Not necessarily, the nation was ready for change and had their minds made up on what America needed.

Oprah: Were you disappointed that you weren't allowed to speak on the last night of the election?

Peanut Gallery: Of course she was disappointed! After the debacle she made of herself during her candidacy, I wouldn't let her speak at my nephews birthday party!

Palin: I was told that VP candidates don't give speeches on election night, which obiously wasn't true. I am, however, disappointed that I didn't get the opportunity to remind Americans that they need to able to move forward.

Peanut Gallery: Move forward from what exactly?

Oprah asked her if she thought she could've handled her daughter's teen pregnancy a lot better than she did during her candidacy. According to Palin, she didn't think it was a big issue and if anything, thought that the D grade she got in college would raise more eyebrows than her teenage daughter being pregnant.

Peanut Gallery: Huh? Did she really think that?

She also thought that it would reflect a real American family going through real issues.

Peanut Gallery: Well, that would make sense if she WASN'T running for VP of the United States!

She went on to say that she was naive in thinking that the media would leave her children alone and hoped that they would show the same respect they did to Obama's kids.

Peanut Gallery: Umm...not so much Sarah. You better believe that if Sasha or Malia were pregos, they too would become instant media prey.

Of course Oprah brought up the Katie Couric interview and even replayed the scene when Couric asked Palin what type of books, newspapers & magazines she read to keep herself up to date.

Peanut Gallery: As we can recall, Palin couldn't or didn't answer the simple question and appeared agitated by journalist Katie Couric.

Palin admitted that she knew that wasn't her best moment and wasn't prepped because it was supposed to be a "lighthearted" interview. She also admitted she knows she didn't do well because she was annoyed by Couric's "badgering" and didn't blame people for thinking she wasn't qualified. On the flip side- when asked if she thought whether that interview was a seminal defining moment, she stated that she didn't think it was.

Palin's defense against why she didn't just name the magazines, books or newspapers she'd read was something along the lines of, "Couric made it seem like Alaska was a far away land that had no clue what was going on in the world and had no access to news, and that annoyed me."

In hindsight, Palin wished she would've just answered the question accordingly. She also stated that Couric asked her several times her views on abortion after Palin had already given her opinion in the beginning of the interview.

Peanut Gallery: What amused me the most was Palin's reference to Katie Couric as, "the perky one." Priceless!

Oprah brought up Levi Johnston, the father of her grandson and asked where things were considering he'd spread some vicious lies...or truths about the Palin family. Levi, now known as Ricky Hollywood, went on record to say that Palin wasn't a good parent and that Bristol, the eldest daughter and mother of his child, was the one that really raised Piper (the youngest Palin daughter)and that Palin and husband Todd weren't getting along. None of which, according to Palin, was true. Apparently, Levi aka Ricky Hollywood went rogue and posed for PlayGirl and was making press rounds saying whatever he needed to say to boost his visibility.

Oprah: How do you feel about Levi now?

Palin: (Notice she doesn't really answer the question) He's busy with media tours and hasn't seen the baby in a while.

Oprah: Does it dissapoint you that he went rogue after being a close part of the family?

Palin: It's heartbreaking and disappointing that this is the way that he's chosen to live his life.

Oprah: Will Levi be invited to thankxgiving dinner?

After dancing around the question and being asked for a yes or no answer she finally answered...

Palin: Levi has an invite to thanxgiving at Aunt Katy's house in Washington. There I said it!

As far as her relationship with husband Todd goes....Palin stated that they had a great partnership and a strong equal marriage.

On no longer being governor of Alaska and being looked at as a "quitter"....Palin didn't want to be shackled behind a desk and didn't want the state where she'd grown up and lived her entire life and would probably be buried in to be hampered by her presence. She didn't want to worry about what she has to say or lawsuits coming her way and she believed that she would better serve the Alaskan people by not being governor. As her father so eloquently put it, "she wasn't retreating but reloading.

Oprah asked if she thought about running for president in 2012. Palin, did some more dancing around the answer and talked about her immediate plans and looking forward to her youngest son Trip going to kindergarten in 2012.

DID SHE CHANGE ANYONE'S OPINION OF HER?
Some thought she was running for celebrity with her new book and tv appearances, others were able to relate to her plight and were impressed and thought that it was really her this time around and that she was stronger in her responses than she was allowed to be during her candidacy. One woman thought that although she did some damage to republican women it made for a good look for democratic women, therefore she was pleased with her interview. Ouch!

All in all..it made for a good watch and it was obviously great publicity for Palin. I wonder how different her Barbara Walters interview will be tomorrow on Good Morning America.

REFLECTIONS OF A WEEK PASSED

2009-11-15T19:42:00.003-05:00

As another week comes to an end and a new one begins...I give thanks for the days passed and the moments created.

Reflecting back on the past seven days I would say it was a pretty good week....

Watched the new hit indie film PRECIOUS at a preview screening and was moved beyond words. There wasn't a dry eye in the theater. What blows me further away is that it's based on a true story. I happened to be watching Conan O'Brien (love him) and got the chance to see Gabourey Sidibe aka Precious outside of her role. I immediately fell in love with her...she has an incredible personality and I look forward to her future in film!

Hmmm...oh yeah...

Got some writing done and was able to break my writer's block and start a story I've been having trouble with for quite some time. It happened quite by chance actually...I was reading up on the prompt for the day, which is part of the Poetic Asides Poem-A- Day challenge for November. The title was, "If Only..." and it was up to the writer to add a phrase and construct a poem. I came up with a title which somehow tied into a storyline I've been wanting to write for the past two years but was having major difficulty telling the story. My title was, "If Only I Never Kissed Him." Needless to say it evoked a burst of creative energy and inspiration and I ended up writing 5 pages.

Let's see what else...

I ate alot this week! Jerk shrimp, blackened tilapia with roasted potatoes, steak, rice, grilled goat meat and kachumbari, savoy chicken and best of all...chocolate swirl cheescake. Sheesh...at the rate I'm going it looks like I'll be joining Jenny Craig in the near future! I shouldn't even kid around like that because I'm three hamburgers away from actually becoming a JC client. My love for food is ridiculous but I have to somehow figure out a way to reduce my consumption as well as workout (something I detest). Wish me luck!

On a brighter note....

My mom made it back safely this week from her trip abroad, which means my hangout buddy is back and things are back to normal. I guess one can say I'm a mama's girl (if there is such a thing) and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Lastly...

Watched the Pacquaio/Cotto fight @ Ozzio's, which was an interesting experience to say the least. It was packed with lots of eye candy and generous happy hour libations. We (Lisa, Kells & I) had a great seat right infront of the flat screen except that the lounge's tv connection kept getting interrupted so we missed bits and pieces of the fight. The best part of it all is that Manny Pacquiao kicked ASS!!

D.C. SNIPER: HIS LAST DAY

2009-11-10T10:09:00.007-05:00

The Supreme Court denied D.C. Sniper John Muhammad's request to stay his execution (not surprising), which means his death by lethal injection will officially be taking place tonight at 9pm at the Greensville Correctional Center in Virginia.

This is good news to many who witnessed and lived through the random and frightening 2002 three week shooting spree that occurred in the DMV area (DC, Maryland & Virginia) where ten people were killed and three others critically injured.

It's hard to forget the tragedy that changed how we live our lives and even harder to forget the people who lost their's at the hands of John Allen Muhammad and Lee Boyd Malvo.

For the families of each victim- I can imagine tonight is the moment they have all been waiting for; the moment that some sort of closure can take place.

John Muhammad, 48, will be leaving behind three children.

Loving the Open Water

2009-11-08T14:13:00.010-05:00

Today was one of those Sundays that you hope and wish could last forever and ever and ever. The weather was gorgeous....70 degrees to be exact- mind you it's November!

The day started off with an early morning meetup with the Breakfast Association @ our secret spot. I ordered the Brioche French Toast with Scrambled Eggs, Erik ordered his usual Belgian Waffle with Home Fries (he never strays) and Vance decided to be adventurous and get the Salmon Cake with Grits (I think I may try that next time). Needless to say we didn't talk much once the food arrived at our table, which is unusual for us.
*The Breakfast Association is an elite club of eaters.

On to phase two of our day:
Unfortunately, Vance couldn't join us due to cleaning obligations (he has visitors coming in from out of town) so we gave him a lift to his destination and made our way to euphoria.

Euphoria: Spending the afternoon on The Aqua Boogie...a.k.a...Erik's boat and jet setting across the Harbor (40min ride) to watch the game, eat lunch, drink some brewskis and talk a lot of sh**t.
Erik, as usual, was the gracious host and even let me steer the boat once we got to the 6 mile zone...lol.

By the time we watched the Ravens lose to the Bengals & Giants to the Chargers (tragic), ate burgers and turkey melts and threw back a couple...the sun had set and the climate had dropped. We headed back to the Aqua Boogie with filled bellies and relaxed minds. It was already dark, which made the boat ride back the ultimate experience. I swear if I were to ever shoot a video it would be on a boat/yacht. The combination of the calm water, smooth ride, high winds, low traffic and colorful sights made for the perfect moment. I didn't even care how cold it got once we passed the slow zone into the free-for-all zone. My hair took on it's own life force, the faster Erik went the more tears gushed out of my eyes and at some point my ears lost all feeling....but it made for an exhilarating experience!!!

US House of Reps Pass Health Care Reform Bill

2009-11-08T00:18:00.003-05:00

It's official folks, history in the making!! 220 to 215 vote-House approves healthcare bill that extends insurance coverage to 36 million Americans without health insurance.

HOORAYYY!!! HOORAYYY!!!

Let's just hope phase two goes as smooth....

ART PIECE OF THE WEEK

2009-11-05T14:18:00.008-05:00

PEARL NECKLACE
by: Lauri Cooper

For more works by this artist visit www.avisca.com

THE POWER OF THE K.I.S.S.

2009-11-04T18:56:00.004-05:00

What makes a kiss memorable? Is it the man, the chemistry, the moment, the experience of time spent leading up to "the kiss" or is it the art and skill that goes into knowing how to kiss? For me, the latter trumps the former. Kissing is an art. Much like carving the human form out of a piece of fine wood- it takes time, patience, respect for the art and the know-how to master the skill.

If I have to think really hard about how many great kisses I've had then perhaps I haven't experienced that many. Well, maybe just a few. Actually three fantastic kissers stand out in my mind. I use the word "fantastic" because whenever my mind travels back to those moments, a sexy smile comes across my face and my eyes slightly roll back in time as the memories resurface.

I adore kissing someone who truly appreciates and knows how to kiss. Someone that understands the slow and sensual pace required to move from delicate and passionate pecks to full on tongue-in-mouth action, which should come much later in the act. That time in between is THE most important aspect; it's the foreplay of kissing.

Most fools rush in where artful kissers tread and end up missing out on the magic that transpires. The magic being - soft biting and tugging of the bottom or top lip (whatever tickles your fancy), the unspoken dialect while stealing glances at each other in between kisses, the strategic placement of the hands on the back of the neck or side of the face, the head/neck movement, the pauses and pulling back just as he or she comes in for another, which in turn makes him or her chase the kiss a.k.a the thrill in which case can be extremely erotic, or better yet, the idea that nothing else exists except that moment because the kiss is that powerful and damn near orgasmic. Yeah, I said it. There is such a thing as an orgasmic kiss and it is indeed attainable. One would have to be present in the moment, present in the act and susceptible to a higher level of intimacy- a level much higher and far more powerful than sex.

Quote of the Day:
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
-Albert Einstein

ABSTINENCE & THE MODERN WOMAN

2009-11-02T18:10:00.006-05:00

Being abstinent includes the practice of voluntarily refraining from some or all aspects of sexual activity. Most people are abstinent at some point in their lives.

Some people define abstinence as a well thought-out choice regarding one's mind, body, and sexual health. It can be a positive way of dealing with sexuality and/or resolving feelings about sexual intimacy stemming from religious or moral beliefs. By Dawn Stacey M.Ed, LMHC, About.com

Well, I’ve been abstinent for almost a year and I must say it's been and continues to be an enlightening process. It's a choice I made out of self-preservation, which contrary to popular belief, is NOT selfishness. It wasn't an emotional or bitter decision, it was more like a less traveled road I decided to take.

I came to this life changing decision (because it truly is..lol) after a melancholy and somewhat uncertain relationship (I'm not even sure I can call it that) with a man I THOUGHT I was in love with. It took several months to finally sever the ties, let the balloon go and watch it disappear before my eyes. Something I thought I would never be able to do. The feeling just came over me one day after a series of unfortunate events, things he said (unbeknownst to him) that set my squeaky wheels back in motion. I started to put things together, bridging the gaps and connecting the dots in hopes to get the bigger picture and save myself....and I haven’t looked back.

In hindsight, I really don't know what I was thinking. He wasn't the right fit, yet I convinced myself that he was. Why do we do that? Why in God's name do we continue to ignore all the warning signs? Especially when some of the men we involve ourselves with show and tell us their true selves. *We can add this to the list of million dollar questions...I'm up to three so far.

Needless to say, I came out of that daze a changed woman. My thoughts and views on intimacy and sex have evolved, my wants and desires are no longer skewed and the need to be alone in order to appreciate someone else has new meaning.