GRAND STATEMENT

- I have no desire to make windows into men’s soul- Queen Elizabeth

ART PIECE OF THE WEEK

Now Listen Hea' by Maurice Evans

WHY I LOVE "SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE"

I am a major fan of So You Think You Can Dance (ABC) and have been from the very start. I watch this show faithfully and have been moved to tears on several occasions. I like to think of myself as a patron of any ART form and will forever be grateful to this show and others like it for providing an outlet for talented yet unknown (soon to be discovered) dancers to express their art through dance.

Ellenore Scott & Jakob Karr, who, as you can see are both incredibly gifted and passionate dancers are this season's top 10 contestants...as they should be! Thanks to the amazing Sonya Tayeh who choreographed the piece, both Ellenore and Jakob were able to bring the OONA & Dave Tweedie song (Tore My Heart) to life and portray the story through movement, which is not an easy feat. Their commitment to the piece was what moved me the most; how they lost themselves inside the dance and became the music. I love that!! It completely blew me away..so much so...that I watch it at least once a day.

Enjoy!

ELLEN VS. RAYMOND - I DECLARE WAR

I recently met a guy...not just any guy...but a character of sorts who lives on the other side of the world and whom I've never met. He's a writer-so by default we are kindred spirits. He'll make you laugh, he'll get you mad and may even leave you perplexed, but more importantly....you'll remember Raymond Chepkwony. http://raymondchepkwony.wordpress.com

To make a long story short we decided to virtually come together (sort of like a war of the minds) and go blow for blow on both our blogs. The idea is to select random controversial topics and give the male vs female perspective with no holds barred.


THIS IS ROUND 1


“[Rihanna:]
Sad and it’s not fair how you take advantage of the fact that I
Love you beyond the reason why
And it just ain’t right

[Ne-Yo:]
And I hate how much I love you girl
I can’t stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you girl
But I just can’t let you go
But I hate that I love you so

[Both:]
One of these days maybe your magic won’t affect me
And your kiss won’t make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you’ll probably always have a spell on me…”

Hate That I Love You- Rihanna Feat. Ne-Yo


For far too long, women have mistaken the influence of the “boy’s club” as a negative dent to their love lives. Its always been easy for women to pick on the boys as an explanation for all that is going wrong in their twisted little romance of a life they call a marriage. Women, why do you have to place the blame for your hubby or boyfriend going astray on the boys? Something I also wonder about... why do women normally pick on one of the boys and blame him for all that is going wrong in their lives? If your husband has a liking for young girls, then how is his pal to blame for that? If your hubby has a stray gene hard coded in his DNA, why take it out on the boys with claims that they are leading him astray? You probably took him from the arms of another woman and now you have the audacity to claim that he was loyal and loving before he started hanging out with the boys! You, my dear, forget that he has been hanging out with the same set of fellows for the last ten years and you only came into the picture recently. http://raymondchepkwony.wordpress.com

9 out of 10 “the boys” are single and still think the boyish/player mentality is cool and should be bragged about. What’s not cool is the influence it has on the poor married guy that has to go back home to the slightly overweight wife in a smelly headscarf, pink robe and fluffy slippers while “the boys” return to the random hot chick of the night wearing the sexy black lingerie. That whole grass is greener on the other side comes into play because the boys flaunt their freedom and independence and make fun of the shackled-down guy instead of respecting his union and understanding how weak their fellow man is! And for the record, we don’t blame one of the boys for ALL that is going wrong in our lives, just ALL that is wrong with our hubby or boyfriend on account of his loser friend. His pal probably introduced him to the young girl and insisted he hook up with her just once for the hell of it. As far as that stray gene goes…we girls can straighten it out…but it’s difficult when “the boys” keep pulling him in the opposite direction. Chances are- he probably needs a new set of mature fellows. And that 1% left is probably the one other married guy whose life is just as miserable…and you know how that saying goes…misery loves company.


Recently, I was at my local watering hole... and I was surprised by a group of women who were having their infamous “chama” in the local pub! What ever happened to the boys meeting in the bar-as it’s supposed to be- and the women having their chamas in the house and eating mandazis? I long for the days I would be kicked out of the house because my Mum had chama... I knew there would be a never-ending supply of spiced up food and mandazis.. My son will apparently now grow up never knowing when his Mum has chama in the house. Ladies... please take your chama away from the local. You are infringing on my right to have a quiet “me time with the boys”. http://raymondchepkwony.wordpress.com

Basically what you’re saying is for the ladies to stay the hell out of your pub so you and the rascals can gather together and eat chama and most likely talk about us….insanity! You do realize that it’s 2009 and not the stone ages, right? I think those days that you long for when you would be kicked out of the house had an adverse effect and most likely left a tiny dent on your head because surely you don’t expect us to quietly walk away and stop infringing on your bullshit “me time” right. We need quiet “me time” too and this can be achieved under one pub…you and the boys can sit on one side of the room and me and my fly girls will be on the other side. Besides, girls make the scene livelier!!!


Ladies, you establishing your very “girls night” stinks of angry women with nothing to do than sit around a bar, engage in a night of male bashing, and then gossip about whoever amongst you is not there that day! Why is there a need for women to try and be equal with men? Am I the only one who thinks that the modern day woman has lost her place? Next time you are with these so- called “girls” ask yourself... what would mum do. If that doesn’t get your behind in the kitchen waiting for your philandering husband... then you have childhood issues you need to sort out! http://raymondchepkwony.wordpress.com

I think all of the hanging out with the boys has knocked your senses out of wack! The only thing that stinks is coming from your stench of bitterness and denial over the fact that girls rule and boys drool. Yes, you read correctly-Girls Rule! I’m sorry to tell you my friend…you are the only Neanderthal that thinks the modern day woman has lost her place. What would mum do? Who cares, we’re not our mothers! We’re liberated, carefree, hardworking women who deserve to sit around a bar and engage in any and everything our hearts desire. Tell me, what is it that boys do when they sit around a bar? Do they not female bash, drink beers, compare conquests, and then bossip (the male term for gossip)? The only thing that’s going to get me in the kitchen is a non-philandering husband who treats me equally and shows the same respect he requires.


Guys and girls will forever have their friends... The key to a lasting relationship probably lies in respecting each others space and respecting each others friends. We will always have "crews" and we will always have friends... Good or bad. To all those considered "bad company" by wives or husbands, I say..live and enjoy the tag. For you will always be one they LOVE TO HATE!


*ABOUT:

Raymond Chepkwony-(http://raymondchepkwony.wordpress.com)
Raymond is Kenyan and has taken to humor writing. Though he sometimes delves on to the murky world of politics, his main forte is relationships-though he's taken to female bashing! Add Raymond as a friend on Facebook- Ray Chepkwony and follow him on twitter @chepkwonyr


STAY TUNED FOR MORE!

OPRAH.COM/FORALLWOMEN

FOR ALL WOMEN REGISTRY

SUPPORT A MOM
Becoming a mom should be one of the most joyous events in a woman's life—but in many parts of the world getting pregnant is the most dangerous thing a woman can do. In fact, a woman dies from pregnancy and labor every minute—the equivalent of five jumbo jets of women dying every day. See what you can do to help end maternal mortality.

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The kit contains soap, a washcloth, sanitary napkins, nail clippers, toothpaste and a toothbrush. The contents are intended for two individuals for one month.

$10: Health Services for a Mother and Her Baby
Deliver health services to one mother and her baby, including prenatal and postnatal care, routine checkups, immunizations and safe delivery services.

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This kit, for use by midwives and other trained medical personnel, is designed to improve maternal and neonatal care in development and emergency situations. It contains surgical instruments for examining women, suturing cervical and vaginal tears, etc.

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You can provide one medical officer the kit she needs to perform a Caesarean section. While traditional birth attendants can make sure that a clean delivery is performed, they often lack the tools and skills to perform a Caesarean section, stop heavy bleeding and other procedures that can mean the life or death for the mother and her baby.

$190: Tricycle Ambulance Service
You can provide transportation that will bring high-risk, expectant mothers from rural areas to hospitals for quality care, improving the chances that she and her child will survive. A woman can bleed to death in two hours after delivery—not enough time for a family member to get help or transport her to the hospital.

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Deliver babies into capable hands. Your donation can train a local doctor, nurse or midwife to provide healthcare to expectant mothers, improving the chances that she and her child will survive childbirth.

HELP RAPE VICTIMS
Rape is used as a weapon of war to destroy a woman's life all around the world. In some areas, women who have been raped are seen as unfit to marry or become outcasts, struggling to survive. See what a difference you can make in the life of a rape survivor.
$10: Vocational Training for Victims
Provide vocational counseling and training to the survivor for a week while she's in the hospital. She will learn new skills to support herself when she goes home, as she may not be able to do the heavy agricultural work she did before. She may not even know what is possible. This is a first step in the process of restoration and healing.

$10: HIV Testing
Provide HIV tests for five victims of violence. Rape is a weapon of the war in Congo, with many of the armed groups using the threat of HIV in addition to the destruction of rape. Testing and counseling for victims of rape is an important step to emotional healing.

$10: Education During Treatment
She may never have had the opportunity to attend school. This gives her the chance to learn to read, write and do basic math. It will enable her to return to her village with an accomplishment and dignity. Sometimes victims of violence are children. They, too, can attend school at the hospital if they’re there for awhile.

$15: Provide a Safe House
Keep a safe house open for a day, a place for women who've been raped to get counseling and referral to appropriate treatment. The counselors know how to help, and there's a place to sleep. This is important because there are no motels, and it's not safe to sleep by the side of the road.

$15: Hospital Care
Provide ten days of hospital stay for a victim of rape. It may take weeks or months for her recovery.

$15: Provide a Counselor
Provide 10 days of a counselor's salary. Counselors are the cornerstone of the network of safety for women who have been raped or are victims of violence. They accompany a woman through the process, and continue to provide follow-up when the woman returns home.

$27: Sponsor a Rape Victim
For a total of $354 a year ($27 a month plus a one-time $30 registration fee), you can help a victim of rape and violence rebuild her life and family. A woman can restore her support network, receive trauma counseling and gain skills to help her get back on her feet. Develop a one-to-one relationship, sharing your lives through letters and pictures.

$100: Fresh Start Kit
This provides small-business training and skills and provides the equipment they need to go back to the village and begin to support themselves. It may be a sewing machine, or money for small trade capital, or a goat or small livestock. The woman is involved in all aspects of the choices she makes for her own future.

SAVE A SLAVE
At the peak of the transatlantic slave trade, 80,000 slaves were transported from Africa to the new world. Today, more than 10 times as many women are being forced into brothels or other forms of slavery. Find out what you can do to help an enslaved woman find freedom.
$10: Psychological Counseling
You can provide one month of psychological counseling and rehabilitation to a girl at a shelter in Southeast Asia. Your donation will provide the support survivors need to embark on the long and painful journey.

$20: Adult Education
You can provide one month of adult education for a woman in prostitution, transcending formal education. It also includes training women on opening and operating bank accounts and forming small economic and social cooperatives.

$30: Medical Exam and HIV Testing
Give the gift of health. You can provide an HIV test and medical exam for girls rescued from sexual slavery in Southeast Asia. Thirty percent of girls received at the shelter from brothels are HIV positive.

$30: Keep a Woman Safe
You can provide one month of support to help keep rescued girls safe. Shelters are under constant threat from the organized crime syndicates that run the brothels and pimps who wish to harm and re-enslave rescued girls. This covers a shelter's security fees for one month per girl, allowing girls to rebuild their strength in a secure, loving environment.

$40: Skill Training
You can provide a month of skill training—including self-defense and literacy—for an adolescent girl vulnerable to being trafficked. Help keep these girls away from sex predators.

$250: Legal Protection
You can provide a month of legal protection for a woman or child. In addition to legal counsel, women will also be trained on basic knowledge about their rights to defend themselves when confronted with violence or abuse.


I made my donation to help change the future...will you?

ART PIECE OF THE WEEK

Sassified
by: Paul Goodnight

Kelly Clarkson- Already Gone Official Music Video

I heard this song for the first time on the AMA's and I've been madly in love since!!!

Daughtry - Life After You [HQ Official Music Video]

DAUGHTRY ROCKS!!!!

OWN: THE OPRAH WINFREY NETWORK

NEW BREAST CANCER RECOMMENDATION

This senstivie topic seems to be causing quite a stir and I can certainly understand why. All of a sudden annual check-ups are being frowned upon due to false scares and unneccessary exposure to radiation. Yet, these same check-ups and self-examinations have played a critical role in detecting lumps and saving lives. It's confusing.

Let's be clear - we're not being told to NOT give ourselves self-examinations, because let's face it, no one can tell us to stop feeling for lumps on our own breasts if that is what we choose to do. It sounds like we're being told to not overreact everytime we feel what we think may be a lump, not to scurry off to the doctor's office for a mammogram and subject ourselves to painful and uncomfortable radiation or costly biopsies. Correct me if I'm wrong- but when it comes to our health, should the first thing that comes to mind be the biopsy bill? Or is this just an early insurance company tactic put in place because they won't make any money on account of a "false alarm" should the future of healthcare take a positive turn?

Yes, I get the point of women panicking over what they think is a lump; but if I happen to feel something foreign while examining my breast in the shower you bet your bottom dollar I would be hightailing it to the doctor immediately. Let's face it, If I did have an actual lump then getting a mammogram and catching it at an early stage may save my life!

It's ridiculous, and the more I think about it the more it infuriates me that the USPSTF (U.S. Preventive Services Task Force) would recommend such a thing! What about the women who may have more aggressive types of cancer that NEED to be caught in an early stage? Wouldn't this type of cancer be the exact reason why screening needs to be done regularly and often instead of waiting until the age of 50? Did they think about this before releasing this controversial "recommendation?"

*Reports say that almost 80% of women get breast cancer over age 50 but 20% get it in their 40's. So is it being suggested that women less than 50 take a chance on those stats?

If the radiation is not hurting us then we would rather be safe than sorry and do the tests.

PORN POWER

Sex/porn is a 10 billion dollar a year business! 10 billion! Clearly I'm in the wrong business.

1 out of 3 porn consumers are women-regular women.

There are 13 million online views of porn A MONTH and 70% keep it a secret.

30/40% of women make-up the porn market.

**I got these stats from today's Oprah show on Porn & Erotica**

Sounds like more women are comfortably watching porn on t.v., buying dvds and getting online to search the net for "porn." Interesting. Here I thought I was all alone :-)

Porn has, over the years, become a huge business; a job and/or career for hundreds of women. It is the most lucrative industry on earth. Shouting out "girl power" would be a tad bit premature, but it seems like the double standard is slowly being lifted. Is it safe to say that women are now dominating in the porn industry? Or is former pornstar Jenna Jameson the only porn queen who was able to break into the mainstream and meet those standards?

Here's a doozy for ya...women in the porn business make far more money than men and work less! How about that! It's really not that shocking if you think about it- men actually have to be good at what they do and by good I mean they would have to maintain an erection, pretend to be attracted to the not so hot chick as well as perform AND ejaculate on cue; whereas with women, it doesn't take all those tedious requirements. Porn starlett's can fake an orgasm and don't need as much time as their male couterparts to recoup for the next scene.

It's fascinating really...meeting someone for 15 minutes over a cup of coffee and a muffin and having sex on camera and infront of a room full of production crew members. Kinda sounds like art imitating life minus the crew members, well...unless you're into an audience.

Beyoncé (feat. Lady Gaga) - Video Phone [Official Music Video]

Super Sexy!!

Going Rogue on Oprah: Sarah Palin Style

I don't know about you all but I looked forward to the highly publicized and anticipated Oprah/Palin interview today, although I'm not entirely sure why. Maybe it was the hope that we would get to see a different side of the former VP candidate or maybe she would say something off the wall and remind us once again why the grand old party didn't win. Either way, I was tuned in and ready for the unexpected.

Instead, what I got was somewhat expected: Palin as she was during the election but more at ease in her skin. She's a regular lady with a quirky sense of humor, wears thigh bearing gym shorts to the store and goes to the gym for her morning workout, she makes candy apples for halloween and uses words like, "dang" and "cool."

Sarah Palin recently published her book,"Going Rogue: An American Life" coming out in stores tomorrow 11/17/09 and it's already a bestseller (kudos to her).

Whether I'll be running out to buy a copy is debatable, but I do wish her all the luck and success her heart desires!

The Oprah/Palin Conversation:

Palin talked about getting the phone call that changed her life. You know...the one asking whether she would like to be the United States VP candidate, and based on her explanation, it sounded like a random phone call was made and her number came up.

Oprah: What did it feel like standing on stage as an unknown the day McCain made the announcement?

Palin: Well, I thought McCain was brave. A true maverick who wanted to take a chance that empowered women.

Oprah: Had you been allowed to be more yourself during the election, do you think the race would've turned out differently?

Palin: Not necessarily, the nation was ready for change and had their minds made up on what America needed.

Oprah: Were you disappointed that you weren't allowed to speak on the last night of the election?

Peanut Gallery: Of course she was disappointed! After the debacle she made of herself during her candidacy, I wouldn't let her speak at my nephews birthday party!

Palin: I was told that VP candidates don't give speeches on election night, which obiously wasn't true. I am, however, disappointed that I didn't get the opportunity to remind Americans that they need to able to move forward.

Peanut Gallery: Move forward from what exactly?

Oprah asked her if she thought she could've handled her daughter's teen pregnancy a lot better than she did during her candidacy. According to Palin, she didn't think it was a big issue and if anything, thought that the D grade she got in college would raise more eyebrows than her teenage daughter being pregnant.

Peanut Gallery: Huh? Did she really think that?

She also thought that it would reflect a real American family going through real issues.

Peanut Gallery: Well, that would make sense if she WASN'T running for VP of the United States!

She went on to say that she was naive in thinking that the media would leave her children alone and hoped that they would show the same respect they did to Obama's kids.

Peanut Gallery: Umm...not so much Sarah. You better believe that if Sasha or Malia were pregos, they too would become instant media prey.


Of course Oprah brought up the Katie Couric interview and even replayed the scene when Couric asked Palin what type of books, newspapers & magazines she read to keep herself up to date.

Peanut Gallery: As we can recall, Palin couldn't or didn't answer the simple question and appeared agitated by journalist Katie Couric.

Palin admitted that she knew that wasn't her best moment and wasn't prepped because it was supposed to be a "lighthearted" interview. She also admitted she knows she didn't do well because she was annoyed by Couric's "badgering" and didn't blame people for thinking she wasn't qualified. On the flip side- when asked if she thought whether that interview was a seminal defining moment, she stated that she didn't think it was.

Palin's defense against why she didn't just name the magazines, books or newspapers she'd read was something along the lines of, "Couric made it seem like Alaska was a far away land that had no clue what was going on in the world and had no access to news, and that annoyed me."

In hindsight, Palin wished she would've just answered the question accordingly. She also stated that Couric asked her several times her views on abortion after Palin had already given her opinion in the beginning of the interview.

Peanut Gallery: What amused me the most was Palin's reference to Katie Couric as, "the perky one." Priceless!


Oprah brought up Levi Johnston, the father of her grandson and asked where things were considering he'd spread some vicious lies...or truths about the Palin family. Levi, now known as Ricky Hollywood, went on record to say that Palin wasn't a good parent and that Bristol, the eldest daughter and mother of his child, was the one that really raised Piper (the youngest Palin daughter)and that Palin and husband Todd weren't getting along. None of which, according to Palin, was true. Apparently, Levi aka Ricky Hollywood went rogue and posed for PlayGirl and was making press rounds saying whatever he needed to say to boost his visibility.

Oprah: How do you feel about Levi now?

Palin: (Notice she doesn't really answer the question) He's busy with media tours and hasn't seen the baby in a while.

Oprah: Does it dissapoint you that he went rogue after being a close part of the family?

Palin: It's heartbreaking and disappointing that this is the way that he's chosen to live his life.

Oprah: Will Levi be invited to thankxgiving dinner?

After dancing around the question and being asked for a yes or no answer she finally answered...

Palin: Levi has an invite to thanxgiving at Aunt Katy's house in Washington. There I said it!

As far as her relationship with husband Todd goes....Palin stated that they had a great partnership and a strong equal marriage.

On no longer being governor of Alaska and being looked at as a "quitter"....Palin didn't want to be shackled behind a desk and didn't want the state where she'd grown up and lived her entire life and would probably be buried in to be hampered by her presence. She didn't want to worry about what she has to say or lawsuits coming her way and she believed that she would better serve the Alaskan people by not being governor. As her father so eloquently put it, "she wasn't retreating but reloading.

Oprah asked if she thought about running for president in 2012. Palin, did some more dancing around the answer and talked about her immediate plans and looking forward to her youngest son Trip going to kindergarten in 2012.


DID SHE CHANGE ANYONE'S OPINION OF HER?
Some thought she was running for celebrity with her new book and tv appearances, others were able to relate to her plight and were impressed and thought that it was really her this time around and that she was stronger in her responses than she was allowed to be during her candidacy. One woman thought that although she did some damage to republican women it made for a good look for democratic women, therefore she was pleased with her interview. Ouch!

All in all..it made for a good watch and it was obviously great publicity for Palin. I wonder how different her Barbara Walters interview will be tomorrow on Good Morning America.

REFLECTIONS OF A WEEK PASSED

As another week comes to an end and a new one begins...I give thanks for the days passed and the moments created.

Reflecting back on the past seven days I would say it was a pretty good week....

Watched the new hit indie film PRECIOUS at a preview screening and was moved beyond words. There wasn't a dry eye in the theater. What blows me further away is that it's based on a true story. I happened to be watching Conan O'Brien (love him) and got the chance to see Gabourey Sidibe aka Precious outside of her role. I immediately fell in love with her...she has an incredible personality and I look forward to her future in film!

Hmmm...oh yeah...

Got some writing done and was able to break my writer's block and start a story I've been having trouble with for quite some time. It happened quite by chance actually...I was reading up on the prompt for the day, which is part of the Poetic Asides Poem-A- Day challenge for November. The title was, "If Only..." and it was up to the writer to add a phrase and construct a poem. I came up with a title which somehow tied into a storyline I've been wanting to write for the past two years but was having major difficulty telling the story. My title was, "If Only I Never Kissed Him." Needless to say it evoked a burst of creative energy and inspiration and I ended up writing 5 pages.

Let's see what else...

I ate alot this week! Jerk shrimp, blackened tilapia with roasted potatoes, steak, rice, grilled goat meat and kachumbari, savoy chicken and best of all...chocolate swirl cheescake. Sheesh...at the rate I'm going it looks like I'll be joining Jenny Craig in the near future! I shouldn't even kid around like that because I'm three hamburgers away from actually becoming a JC client. My love for food is ridiculous but I have to somehow figure out a way to reduce my consumption as well as workout (something I detest). Wish me luck!

On a brighter note....

My mom made it back safely this week from her trip abroad, which means my hangout buddy is back and things are back to normal. I guess one can say I'm a mama's girl (if there is such a thing) and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Lastly...

Watched the Pacquaio/Cotto fight @ Ozzio's, which was an interesting experience to say the least. It was packed with lots of eye candy and generous happy hour libations. We (Lisa, Kells & I) had a great seat right infront of the flat screen except that the lounge's tv connection kept getting interrupted so we missed bits and pieces of the fight. The best part of it all is that Manny Pacquiao kicked ASS!!